The Guard: A Selection Novella by Kiera Cass

Before America Singer met Prince Maxon . . .
Before she entered the Selection . . .
She was in love with a boy named Aspen Leger.

Don’t miss this digital original novella set in the captivating world of Kiera Cass’s #1 New York Times bestselling Selection trilogy. This brand new 64-page story begins just after the group of Selected girls is narrowed down to the Elite and is told from Aspen’s point of view. The Guard also features a teaser to The One, the thrilling conclusion to The Selection trilogy.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Technically only Cassie-la is excited about this eBook only novella which is a companion piece to the incredibly guilty pleasure novels The Selection and The Elite. NO SHAME!

Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi

The heart-stopping conclusion to the New York Times bestselling Shatter Me series, which Ransom Riggs, bestselling author of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, called “a thrilling, high-stakes saga of self-discovery and forbidden love”

Juliette now knows she may be the only one who can stop the Reestablishment. But to take them down, she’ll need the help of the one person she never thought she could trust: Warner. And as they work together, Juliette will discover that everything she thought she knew-about Warner, her abilities, and even Adam-was wrong.

In Shatter Me, Tahereh Mafi created a captivating and original story that combined the best of dystopian and paranormal and was praised by Publishers Weekly as “a gripping read from an author who’s not afraid to take risks.” The sequel, Unravel Me, blew readers away with heart-racing twists and turns, and New York Times bestselling author Kami Garcia said it was “dangerous, sexy, romantic, and intense.” Now this final book brings the series to a shocking and climactic end.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: We have a soft spot for young adult dystopias and that coupled with this gorgeous cover drew us right in. The other covers — which are also focused on eyes — are equally amazing.

Wildwood Imperium by Colin Meloy

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: It’s the final book in the highly inventive Wildwood Chronicles from the lead singer of the Decemberists, Colin Meloy. We still don’t know how kids understand this series.

Cress: The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Rapunzel’s tower is a satellite. She can’t let down her hair—or her guard.

In this third book in the bestselling Lunar Chronicles series, Cinder and Captain Thorne are fugitives on the run, with Scarlet and Wolf in tow. Together, they’re plotting to overthrow Queen Levana and her army.

Their best hope lies with Cress, who has been trapped on a satellite since childhood with only her netscreens as company. All that screen time has made Cress an excellent hacker—unfortunately, she’s just received orders from Levana to track down Cinder and her handsome accomplice.

When a daring rescue goes awry, the group is separated. Cress finally has her freedom, but it comes at a high price. Meanwhile, Queen Levana will let nothing stop her marriage to Emperor Kai. Cress, Scarlet, and Cinder may not have signed up to save the world, but they may be the only ones who can.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: This super original science fiction fractured fairytale series continues with a take on Rapunzel who is trapped on a satellite with only her hacking skills to keep her company. Until the evil lunar Queen Levana orders her to take down the cyborg Cinder[ella].

Strange Bodies by Marcel Theroux

A dizzying novel of deception and metempsychosis by the author of the National Book Award finalist Far North.

Whatever this is, it started when Nicholas Slopen came back from the dead.

In a locked ward of a notorious psychiatric hospital sits a man who insists that he is Dr. Nicholas Slopen, failed husband and impoverished Samuel Johnson scholar. Slopen has been dead for months, yet nothing can make this man change his story. What begins as a tale of apparent forgery involving unknown letters by the great Dr. Johnson grows to encompass a conspiracy between a Silicon Valley mogul and his Russian allies to exploit the darkest secret of Soviet technology: the Malevin Procedure.

With echoes of Jorge Luis Borges and Philip K. Dick, Marcel Theroux’s Strange Bodies takes the reader on a dizzying speculative journey that poses questions about identity, authenticity, and what it means to be truly human.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: It’s a thought-provoking novel about what makes you, you with a science fiction twist. What more is there to want?

“Game of Thrones” Season Four got itself a brand new production designer named Deborah Riley, and no, we don’t know what happened to Gemma Jackson.

What’s important to take away from this is some pivotal scenes that are revealed in this behind the scenes video. If you know what’s in store you will laugh. You will cry. And then you’ll cry some more.

Check out where my roller coaster of emotion took me below.

0:11 – I have no idea what Daenerys is wearing but it’s totally cool because she’s BAMF regardless.

0:17 – I change my mind because couldn’t you have at least centered her belly button guys!?!

0:37 – Those ladies sure know how to rock the black.

0:50 – Super happy because we get out very first look at Mark Gatiss!

0:53 – Immediately sad because I know what scene this is and I’m crying already. WHY GRRM WHY!?!

1:26 – All is forgiven (kind of) because this isn’t a wedding scene, that thing in the middle of the shot is the MOON DOOR MOTHERFUCKERS!

2:12 – Super angry because who taught these Unsullied how to march? Apparently no one.

Season 4, kindly hurry up.

(via: Winter is Coming)

In this post, from Marvel Comics: Loki: Agent of Asgard #1 and from Vertigo: Fairest #23 and Trillium #6. Rejoice Loki fans!

Marvel Comics

Loki: Agent of Asgard #1 by Al Ewing, illustrated by Lee Garbett, cover by Jenny Frison
Genre: Fiction, action, adventure, humor
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Straight out of the pages of Young Avengers, Teen Loki (formerly Kid Loki) got a job working for the All-Mother, a triumvirate on Asgard who have Loki trading good deeds in order to have his more evil stories erased from Asgardian memory. You may recall that before the events of Young Avengers, Loki died as a villain and was reborn in a newer and younger body complete with a guilty conscience and a desire to right his wrongs. This is exactly what he does in this very first issue of his brand new solo series, the arc of which is hilariously entitled “Trust Me” despite the first page featuring Loki literally stabbed his brother in the back. And yes, in this instance I have used the correct definition of literally. Psh, what do you take us for, a website not devoted to the written word?

This opening issue is basically one giant story of brotherly dysfunctional love and has Loki moving from his time with the Young Avengers to the adult Avengers, including Thor (obviously), Black Widow, Hawkeye (who is confused as to why Loki looks so One Direction-y), Iron Man, Captain America, and Bruce Banner/The Hulk. Don’t worry, the humor that made you love Kieron Gillen’s Loki is still here and is especially prevalent in Loki’s narrative, in which he directly addresses the audience with witty lines like, “Now, I know what you’re thinking: Why am I falling to my death while a man who makes terrible life decisions shoots an arrow at my face?” And if that doesn’t excite you, in the next issue LOKI GOES SPEED DATING!

Vertigo

Fairest #23 by Marc Andreyko, illustrated by Shawn McManus, cover by Adam Hughes
Genre: Fiction, fractured fairy-tale, fantasy, drama
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Fairest is halfway through it’s six-issue arc of the Cinderella-centric story “Of Mice and Men” — that’s issue three if you can’t do math — in this, the first arc to crossover with the events happening in Fables. Which might explain why this story is so much more enjoyable than the rest of the stories in this supposedly female specific series. Probably because this is the first arc to actually deal with women and solely women as promised. You know, the initial point of this series that somehow managed to take 21 issues to finally find its stride? The main exception to this rule has been that dark Beauty one-shot (Fairest #7) by Matt Sturges which I still can’t get out of my head even though I read it back in September of 2012.

In addition to finally finding out where that frame story centered around the mice turned Coachmen in the original Cinderella story is going, we also get to see some more familiar faces. Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother is in grave danger (the King’s Men are summoned to assist since they did put Humpty Dumpty back together and are notoriously good with head wounds) and Cinderella has traveled to India where she is being hunted by an old foe with a bit of a grudge. She also meets her old friend Ramayan, AKA Rama: the seventh avatar of the God Vishnu in Hinduism. Finally, a blue avatar who has the distinction of not being a kitty person.

Trillium #6 by Jeff Lemire, illustrated by Jeff Lemire, cover by Jeff Lemire
Genre: Fiction, science fiction, romance, apocalyptic
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

When we last left our star and time-crossed lovers Nika and William, they had swapped bodies with much less shenanigans than we’ve come to expect from the body-swapping trope. William is stuck in 3769, having regained his original memories and a definite need to find Nika and make things right, although he definitely gets much less page time than his female counterpart. Jeff Lemire continues to play with his layout in their intersecting and mirrored stories, although it’s pretty difficult to read in digital versus physical format. Do yourself a favor and definitely read a copy you can actually hold if possible.

Nika on the other hand is trapped in 1921 (albeit an alternate history 1921 complete with airships) and is currently inside a mental institution for her recent ramblings about being someone else from the future. The issue itself opens with Nika’s tragic back story (think  Gravity) and will give you all the feels. As Nika recalls her mother telling her the last time they’re together, “My father used to tell me we were all made of stars. That we each had one inside us and when we die, that light goes up and mixes with all the other stars. That way we never have to be alone. ‘Cause no matter what happens, we all end up together.” To which Nika’s voice over sadly responds, “My mother’s last words to me were a lie. Because after that I was alone. All alone. And I have been ever since.” Crying so hard right now!

In addition to American Gods landing an adaptation (not to mention Sandman), Neil Gaiman has gone on record to say that the BCC is making the American Gods sort of spin-off Anansi Boys into a mini-series.

If a refresher course is necessary, Anansi Boys follows the sons of trickster Mr. Nancy from American Gods as they discover the existence of one another. As expected, shenanigans ensue.

Don’t they always?

Said creator Neil Gaiman in a statement about this happy-making news:

Other TV news also came to fruition today, although I do not have anywhere to link you to, so you will have to take my word for it: Anansi Boys is going to be made into a TV miniseries in the UK, by RED, for the BBC.

Yes, I’m really thrilled about both of these things. Freemantle has the harder task, as they are going to have to open up American Gods into something bigger than the book.

Red are just going to have to make an absolutely brilliant faithful version of Anansi Boys.

Godspeed BBC, and don’t fuck it up!

(via: The Mary Sue)

Last night “Game of Thrones” added some more hype to Season Four by airing a 15-minute special entitled Ice and Fire: A Foreshadowing.

Said feature included interviews with the cast and crew as well as some sneak peeks at Season Four.

To summarize: it was awesome and Gwendoline Christie (Brienne of Tarth) is a gem. Also, the bigger dragons get the uglier they get.

For other “Game of Thrones” Season Four goodness check out: pivotal scenes being teased in a new behind the scenes video, the official Season Four trailer and a breakdown of the very first look at Season Four.

Hurry up already! Winter has been here for months now.

(via: HBO)

Cress: The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer
Genre: Fiction, fantasy, science-fiction, fractured fairy tale, robots, young adult, but I need to know how this ends now! ::sobs quietly::
Rating: 4.78 out of 5 stars

Summary: Cinder is still on the run from the nefarious Queen Levana, but now she has several allies, including the charismatic Captain Thorne, the genetically engineered Lunar soldier Wolf, Scarlet, the granddaughter of the revolutionary and Iko, the cutest little robot that ever was. With help from Lunar hacker Cress who has switched alliances after being trapped on a satellite for the past seven years, Cinder and company have a plan to stop New Beijing Emperor Kai  from marrying the Lunar Queen Levana who has plans to destroy humanity once she has claimed her throne.

Set after the events in Cinder (inspired by Cinderella), and the second book in the series Scarlet (centered on Red Riding Hood), Cress (the third book in the Lunar Chronicles) is inspired by the fairy tale of Rapunzel, the beautiful girl with long hair who gets pregnant because she doesn’t know how babies are made and ends up wandering the desert after her beloved prince is blinded by the evil witch. A witch who only locked Rapunzel in a tower in the first place because her mother needed to eat plants from the garden of a witch super bad.

I may be paraphrasing.

In this fractured fairy tale, Cress is a Lunar shell, one of the non-magical and non-powerful Lunars who are supposed to be murdered by decree of infanticide laws but are instead used as slaves/workers for the Lunar army in secret. Cress is imprisoned aboard a satellite orbiting earth in order to seek out the enemies of Queen Levana at the urging of her guard Thaumaturge Sybil Mira, who is in charge of all the Lunar shells. A thaumaturge is basically in charge of a squadron of easily controllable soldiers although in this instance she serves as a stand in for the witch that kept Rapunzel captive in her tower. Or in this case, satellite.

Unlike the other fractured fairy tales in the series, I found Cress’ tale to be more in line with her Grimm counterpart. In addition to being locked away because of an indiscretion by her parents (giving birth to a shell), she has a love interest who goes blind after a failed attempt to rescue her from capture, she eventually has her beautiful and impossibly long locks cut (although this time for practical purposes) and she finds herself wandering the desert as a result of her freedom. Not to mention that much how Rapunzel is named after a plant, so too is Crescent Moon, whose nickname Cress is a type of vegetable. It took me a while, but I see what you did there Marissa Meyer.

Despite the story getting even more POVs, I didn’t mind this time around when we get to see into the thoughts of Cinder, Scarlet, Cress, Emperor Kai, Dr. Erland, Iko, Captain Thorne and Thaumaturge Sybil Mira. Although the main characters are favored more than others, Meyer did a good job in this book of spreading the love between the POVs so that we’re not away from anyone for too long.

Winning the POV race however would have to be Cress, who crushed on Captain Carswell Thorne (think Captain Jack Harkness) through the screens in her room and Thorne himself, the sassy, handsome and charismatic ship captain with a dastardly past who can’t seem to convince Cress that she deserves better. Particularly because his random acts of randomness (setting a tiger free from the zoo, stealing a diamond necklace, etc) while originally claimed to be for a good cause actually weren’t.

Although I do give Kai props as well. Not only because he’s the sexiest Emperor to ever Emperor, but because it’s through him that we get to see the most world building. For example the dismantling of the cyborg draft, for which cyborgs are used to test vaccines for the plague.

In addition to exploring new locations like the Lunar refugee camp in Africa where the deadly blue fever originally broke out (AIDS much?), the surrounding desert, life aboard a Lunar satellite and in the far reaches of space, Meyer finally gives us a glimpse of life on the moon, where the Lunars are presented as cold, calculating, and exceedingly cruel beings resentful of humans. So much so that they keep them as pets inside cages in a sort of human zoo, or in their homes for their children to practice their mind control powers on. Truly terrifying. Hence why some of them would want to escape their dictator Queen Levana.

We also finally return to Cinder’s home of New Beijing, a futuristic Asia in which cyborgs are classed as second class citizens and Emperor Kai (Cinder’s love interest) is set to be married to the dangerous and tricksy Queen Levana, who has the Lunar power to glamor herself and control the minds of others. In this world, Earth has formed a Commonwealth following the 4th World War to keep the peace, but the Lunars (a race who evolved from the first human moon colony) are threatening this peace and the lives of humanity.

New Beijing is currently over the moon (not literally) with excitement over the marriage of Emperor Kai to Queen Levana (because YAY royal wedding!), with Kai reluctantly accepting the marriage alliance in order to get his hands on the anecdote for Letumosis, a plague which is currently wreaking havoc on the citizens of earth and which the Lunars conveniently have a cure for. Unfortunately, this alliance doesn’t sit well with the other nations, especially since Levana proved in Scarlet that she is not afraid to release her genetically-engineered wolf super soldiers on the citizens if they seek to rebel.

It’s all very complicated. But enthralling.

Even more exciting, Meyer gives a tease at what we can expect from the final book in the series: Winter, which focuses on Queen Levana’s damaged stepdaughter inspired by Snow White. So in the final book we can probably expect one more POV full of adorable insanity, specifically Princess Winter, a beautiful yet scarred and crazed royal who is desperately in love with Lunar guard Jacin Clay (who we get glimpses of in Cress). I barely know anything about their love affair but it’s already my OTP. Cannot wait!

THE GOOD:
-Cress is absolutely the cutest
-Great to see what Cinder and Captain Thorne (especially Thorne) are up to
-Welcome back Emperor Kai, I missed you
-So excited to read Winter and see how all of the stories are tied up!

THE BAD:
-Sometimes (not all the time) but sometimes Scarlet and Wolf can be a bit much

Cress: The Lunar Chronicles: Book Trailer:

As with the other books in the Lunar Chronicles, Cress was preceded by a short story (see also: Glitches (The Lunar Chronicles 0.5) and The Queen’s Army (The Lunar Chronicles 1.5), however this one was directly inspired by another fairy tale rather than being instrumental to the plot taking place in the Lunar Chronicles. Specifically, it’s a touching story inspired by the original Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen entitled The Little Android. READ IT. And then weep. So hard.

The Vermont Teddy Bear Company Made a Fifty Shades of Grey Bear to Dominate You on Valentine’s Day (via Jezebel)

Sad that we missed out on it this V-Day, but the Vermont Teddy Bear Company manufactured a bear inspired by Christian Grey from the best-selling BDSM novel Fifty Shades of Grey. As the ad copy explained, “Dominate Valentine’s Day this year. Surprise the one you can’t get enough of with this irresistible Bear made with smoky fur and smoldering blue eyes. He wears a handsome grey suit with silver tie, and even comes complete with a mask and a pair of handcuffs. He’s more than 50 shades of fun, and your Valentine can’t help but submit to loving him. ” WHY!?!

Fandom Nail Polish is Now Our Preferred Nail Polish (via Fandom Cosmetics)

If you have a lot of time and money to waste, head over to Fandom Cosmetics and check out their lines of fandom specific makeup and nail polish. Fandoms include “Sherlock,” Harry Potter, “Game of Thrones”, The Mortal Instruments, “The Walking Dead” and more! We particularly like the Always nail polish. After all this time? ALWAYS! ::insert ugly sobbing here::

Prepare Your Wallets, the “Game of Thrones” Black Milk Line is Coming (via Facebook)

We know, we know, you just got done buying clothing from the Batman Black Milk Clothing collection and they’re already teasing their “Game of Thrones” line? Just bleed us dry with your amazing-ness why don’t you? But on a more serious note: MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON LEGGINGS. Yeah, we’re gonna need those. You can check out all the sneak peeks that Black Milk has revealed so far on their Facebook page. No worries, we’ll let you know when the full line is posted.

Stephen Colbert Has Some Commentary on That Hermione/Harry Controversy (via Hypable)

Remember that time that J.K. Rowling sent the Harry Potter fandom into an uproar because she said she wished she had put Harry and Hermione together? Well, Stephen Colbert has a few things to say about that nonsense, as well as a sequel idea for the books entitled Ron Weasley and the Studio Apartment of Shame. Not gonna lie, we would totally read that. Since WP will not less us embed, you can watch the video of hilarity HERE.

There May Not Be a Third Book in Victoria Schwab’s Archived Series Because Publishing (via Tumblr)

We love love love love Victoria Schwab’s amazing Archived series (which began with The Archived and continued with The Unbound), but as she admitted on her Tumblr, Disney Hyperion is not too sure if they’re going to keep publishing the series for financial reasons. Which would be devastating for multiple reasons. As she explained, “Right now, the future of THE ARCHIVED series is uncertain, not in my heart, but at the publisher … And while I’ve tried to make every book capable of standing on its own, the story isn’t supposed to end here … If the story stops, it won’t be my choice. If the story stops, I will do my utmost to find the time/way/strength to write it anyway and release it another way, but right now, I am still holding on to hope.” You can read her full comments over on her Tumblr.

London Gets its Very Own Wall That We Want to “Climb” Super Bad (via Entertainment Weekly)

To celebrate the Season 3 DVD/Blu-ray release and upcoming Season 4 premiere of “Game of Thrones,” a street in London got its very own 3-D art of some wildlings climbing the Wall. We really hope that everyone is flocking to this and pretending to climb it. Otherwise they’re wasting something amazing across the pond. Where’s our cool thing? Did we not get it because winter is already here?

Now You Can Smell Like Your Favorite Literary Character (via Etsy)

In awesome Etsy finds, we have Ravenscourt Apothecary, which focuses on handmade, vegan cologne and perfume inspired by public domain literary characters. Ever wanted to smell like Mr. Darcy but without the pride? Wanted the scent of Jane Eyre but without the crazy woman in your love interest’s attic? That’s what Ravenscourt Apothecary is here for.

This is What Happens When Peter S. Beagle and George R. R. Martin Hang Out (via The Mary Sue)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And this is one of them. NOW KISS!

The trailer for the next Marvel movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, is here and to say it looks amazing would be an understatement.

Said trailer premiered on Jimmy Kimmel Live! but that doesn’t matter because it features Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) riding his bestie Groot (Vin Diesel), the giant tree man around while shooting a gun. In space.

Also, John C. Reilly is in it so you can’t go wrong.

The film also features Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, Djimon Hounsou, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan and Glenn Close, not all of whom were shown in the trailer. Benicio Del Toro does however make a brief appearance, reprising his role from the end of Thor: The Dark World as the Collector.

Best use of “Hooked on a Feeling” or best use of “Hooked on a Feeling”?

Bonus points to main character and comic relief Star-Lord (Chris Pratt) who looks like he’s going to give Tony Stark a run for his money in the sass and arrogance department.

(via: Rickey)

Author Cassandra Clare says a fourth Shadowhunter series will be coming our way in 2017 and it will be a trilogy called The Last Hours. (You may recall that she previously referred to it merely as TLH.)

The three-book series will consist of Chain of Thorns, Chain of Gold, and Chain of Iron, which are all titles borrowed from Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations, which the series is based on.

Said series is set in London in 1903 (between the Victorian and Edwardian eras) and will follow the children of the Shadowhunters from Clare’s Infernal Devices trilogy. AKA: Will Herondale and That Time it Was Demon Pox.

The sixth and final book in her first Shadowhunter series The Mortal Instruments comes out May 27th entitled City of No One Cares About Jace and Clary Anymore City of Heavenly Fire, which will be followed by the sequel series set in Los Angeles: Angel The Dark Artifices. The first book of which, Lady Midnight is due out in 2015.

And even though they are set centuries apart, both Dark Artifices and Last Hours will be interconnected as they’re both “the stories of the Blackthorns, Herondales, and Carstairs.” Which is sort of how The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices functioned.

Although really she should have ended TMI after City of That One Was Actually Your Brother City of Glass.

So basically, Cassandra Clare will be publishing Shadowhunter books through 2019. And this is without even taking into consideration that other series Clare teased which she’s referred to only as TWP.

How many Shadowhunters is too many Shadowhunters?

You can check it character portraits for all the newest Shadowhunters here, one of whom is named Cordelia. Because of course she is.

(via: Hypable)

Winter may already be here, but “Game of Thrones” Season Four is coming, which means the internet has been flooded with tidbits of official information and fan creations in anticipation of the April 6th premiere. We have collected the most recent of these for you in this post and as always you can check out past posts in which we break down: the 15-minute special feature, pivotal and behind the scenes sneak peeks, the official trailer and more!

This Unofficial Trailer Featuring Lorde’s “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is the Best Trailer (via Mashable)

While this amazing fan made trailer doesn’t reveal anything new (it’s just pieced together clips from previews and official HBO trailers), it does give us an amazing use of Lorde’s Tears for Fears cover “Everybody Wants to Rule the World.” IN LOVE! Can someone hire this YouTuber and put her in charge of all future trailer decisions please? Either her or anyone who has ever been in charge of procuring music for a Lifetime original series.

Four Episodes Get Title Announcements (via Oh No They Didn’t!)

The first four episodes of the season now have titles and they have been revealed to be: 4×01 “Two Swords,” 4×02 “The Lion and the Rose,” 4×03 “Breaker of Chains” and 4×04 “Oathkeeper.” Meaning that episode one will most likely be about the fate of the sword Ice (but you know, we could be completely wrong), episode two is definitely about the Purple Wedding, episode three will have something to do with Daenerys’ rule in Mereen and episode four will have to do with Brienne’s newest task and a certain gift from a certain someone.

Black Milk Clothing is Making Official Merchandise So Start Saving in Anticipation (via Pinterest)

We warned you that the Black Milk Clothing “Game of Thrones” line was coming and now it’s a mere week away! There are plenty of dragon scale options as well as some selections for House Stark, Targaryen, Baratheon and Lannister as well as some quotes from Littlefinger and a map of Westeros. Ultimately we thought the Lord of the Rings, Batman and Harry Potter lines were better, but we are super excited for the dragon options nonetheless. You can check out the full line on Pinterest, which will be available for purchase from Black Milk on Monday, March 10 in the United States.

18 Characters Get Valar Morghulis Posters… AND NONE FOR STANNIS BARATHEON! (via WinterIsComing.net)

To promote the new season, HBO has released 18 character posters for its 58,000 main character cast, which look like they were created by a Tumblr user using pictures from old seasons (they are old by the way) and not a professional graphic artist. We guess they spent the budget on making those direwolves not look terrible or something and were left with this. Plenty of new characters get posters as well as some who are getting the honor for the first time. Except for Stannis Baratheon. Dude, you’re gonna want to get the Lord of Light to look at that sick burn.

You Know Who Does Though? This Three-Eyed Raven (via TV Line)

Not all the actual cast members may have been good enough for a poster, but this fictional three-eyed raven was! We guess it’s because he’s made of swords or something.

Here’s What Disney Princesses Would Look Like If They Lived in Westeros (via Geeks Are Sexy)

If the Disney princesses lived in Westeros they would be pretty stylish. Starring Elsa as Daenerys Targaryen (with Mulan’s dragon), Aurora as Cersei Lannister, Ariel as Melisandre, Belle as Margaery Tyrell, Rapunzel as Sansa Stark, Lilo as Arya and many more! You can check out all the Disney princesses as “Game of Thrones” characters HERE. See also: Disney princesses as Star Wars characters and as “Avatar: The Last Airbender” characters.

Read This Super Brief Excerpt from The Winds of Winter Which Proves GRRM Is Actually Writing It (via Hypable)

No worries fans of the book series A Song of Ice and Fire, despite all our joking, author George R. R. Martin is actually working on the fifth book in the series: The Winds of Winter. To prove this, Martin released a paragraph from Tyrion’s POV. The entire chapter will be available in March through Random House’s A World of Ice and Fire app but you can check out the first paragraph below.

Somewhere off in the far distance, a dying man was screaming for his mother. “To horse!” a man was yelling in Ghiscari, in the next camp to the north of the Second Sons. “To horse! To horse!” High and shrill, his voice carried a long way in the morning air, far beyond his own encampment. Tyrion knew just enough Ghiscari to understand the words, but the fear in his voice would have been plain in any tongue. I know how he feels.

Stockholm is Taking Precautions Against White Walkers (via Nerd Approved)

We really don’t know why our government hasn’t gotten on this yet. Ugh. Thanks a lot Obama!

The Ninth Circle by Brendan Deneen (Galley)
Release Date: January 30, 2014
Genre: Fiction, retelling, horror, fantasy, the circus, taking the words freak and show to a whole new level
Rating: 3.8 out of 5 stars

Summary: Inspired by Dante Alighieri’s The Inferno (you know, the fun epic poem in the trilogy), The Ninth Circle follows Daniel as he escapes from his past and into the world of the dark and sinister circus, led along the way by the mysterious Ringmaster. While there he meets the sinful denizens of the Big Top as he delves deeper and deeper into their world, uncovering an evil individual that wants to take the circus down, all while Daniel is desperately fleeing from his own truths.

Brendan Deneen’s The Ninth Circle was inspired by the fabulous circus novel Geek Love by Katherine Dunn, as well as the Dante poem The Inferno. With the Ringleader taking on the role of Virgil, he leads teenager Daniel (who has been living a Hell on earth with his family) and shows him a more literal Hell, represented in the circus which travels through nine states reminiscent of the nine circles that Dante and Virgil travel through to get to purgatory. All while Dan learns about the sins and stories of those who inhabit the circus freak show. Very uplifting stuff.

The story ultimately follows Daniel — this story’s Dante — who seems to go unnoticed by everyone around him except his sadistic older brother and the circus folk who take him in. Although with very few exceptions like his new love interest the Bearded Lady and the Ringmaster who leads him through the circus, the workers don’t think he belongs, much as the dead are disturbed that the living Dante has entered their domain. Not only does he not belong because he’s an outsider, but they’re partially unwilling to allow him in because they don’t want anyone to suffer as they suffer. See, told you it was uplifting.

As with Dante’s original poem, the novel opens with Daniel in the vestibule to Hell (in this case the entrance to the circus) before he runs away from home and is taken into Hell by the Ringmaster. Which is pretty rough considering the people who inhabit the circus are in a living Hell trapped in and tortured by their own pasts. This is especially interesting when you consider that circuses themselves are representative of the American past.

Since Daniel cannot travel literal circles of Hell, because there’s only so much magical realism within the text, the Ringmaster takes him from state to state where he learns more about the pasts of the Acrobat, the Strong Man, the Fire Eater, the Clown, the Escape Artist, the Magician, the Bearded Lady, the Fat Lady and the Traitor, with chapters being referred to as “cantos” as in the original poem. Albeit not structured as poetry.

Also as with Dante’s construction, each circle represents a different sin and each punishment for the sinful ones are a form of poetic justice. For example, in the original, fortune tellers have to walk with their heads turned around backward so they are unable to see what literally lies ahead of them as punishment for peeking unto the future. A similar fate befalls Daniel’s Fortune Teller although not so literal. As Virgil explains, these punishments are chosen in life because of the sins committed. In much this same way, the members of the circus are being punished in the present by their past deeds and choices.

There’s a circus member on the run for killing his brother and wife after their sex scandal because he was overcome by lust, the hoarder who was punished for his greed in holding onto goods, tricksters who are bit by snakes, those who prove to be false are stricken down with disease, in this case leprosy and in the very center of Hell (or the Big Top) Satan himself, who is represented by a mysterious figure who is set on destroying the circus from the inside. You don’t even want to know how Satan punishes traitors.

In addition to the circles of Hell and the states focusing on sins, there are also some characters names which you may recognize throughout the text. Take for example the Acrobat named Homer who is super into philosophy and who is lamenting the loss of his friend Horace. In Circle One, Dante encounters the poets Homer and Horace who are trapped in Limbo with philosophers Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, etc for being filthy unbaptized pagans. THE HORROR!

There’s also Cal the Fortune Teller’s son Guido, named after Guido Bonatti, an astrologer who can be found in the Eighth Circle along with the punishments for fortune tellers. Read: the head backwards thing I discussed above.

Not to mention Mal the Animal Trainer who could be named after the Malebranch (“Evil Claws”) thirteen demons led by Malacoda who use their farts as trumpets for comic relief purposes or possibly after Malebolge, which are a series of ditches in the Eighth Circle of Hell. One such ditch is a pool of excrement which flatterers are punished in since they spew so much shit. Poetic, huh? And for a guy who cleans up after animals, the excrement makes more sense. There’s also his collection of beasts, including the bear named Ugolina after Count Ugolina, who drove Pisa to food shortages and riots and was punished by being locked away with his sons and starved to death. He can be found in Circle Nine chewing on the head of Archbishop Ruggieri degli Ubaldini. Yeah, you do not want to trust that bear.

SIDE NOTE: These are of course by no means comprehensive examples within the book because it’s been a while since I cracked open Dante so there are probably a billion things I missed. Also, I’m not an expert on The Inferno by any means. Mostly because that class never fit into my college schedule.

The elements also come into play throughout the novel. Rain stands in for actually freezing rain, vicious dogs become representative of the three-headed guard dog Cerberus, a torrential downpour is the river Styx, the circus in Mobile is set on top of a huge cliff like the Malebolge, an ice-storm stands in for traitors being encased in ice, etc, etc.

Partially because of the subject matter (it’s inspired by Hell and revolves around a freak show), Deneen is not afraid to be politically incorrect with the way his narrator refers to little people and the mentally disabled and he throws around some homophobic slurs that could be offensive to some. It’s also steeped in violence — particularly in the last circle — which may also be a detriment to anyone who doesn’t like graphic descriptions of disembowelment.

However, if you can get past that because you’re looking for an intriguing retelling of The Inferno and have a soft spot for books set in a circus world then this is definitely for you.

Also, how could you say no to that gorgeous cover art? Come on!

THE GOOD:
-Intriguing retelling of Dante’s Inferno
-Everybody loves a good story set at a circus, right?
-Cover artwork is to die for (not literally)

THE BAD:
-Borders on incredibly depressing because Hell
-Can get a tad hyper-violent and politically incorrect

The Ninth Circle: Book Trailer

For other circus reads, I highly recommend The Night Circus (a fantasy story in which magic is real and anything is possible), Geek Love (the haunting story of a circus family who is created through a combination of incest and radiation), Water for Elephants (the tear-jerking circus love story) and Dreamland (the historical fiction tale centered partially in Coney Island, so slightly more amusement park than circus but still recommended).

The 57 Lives of Alex Wayfare by M.G. Buehrlen

For as long as 17-year-old Alex Wayfare can remember, she has had visions of the past. Visions that make her feel like she’s really on a ship bound for America, living in Jamestown during the Starving Time, or riding the original Ferris wheel at the World’s Fair.

But these brushes with history pull her from her daily life without warning, sometimes leaving her with strange lasting effects and wounds she can’t explain. Trying to excuse away the aftereffects has booked her more time in the principal’s office than in any of her classes and a permanent place at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Alex is desperate to find out what her visions mean and get rid of them.

It isn’t until she meets Porter, a stranger who knows more than should be possible about her, that she learns the truth: Her visions aren’t really visions. Alex is a Descender – capable of traveling back in time by accessing Limbo, the space between Life and Afterlife. Alex is one soul with fifty-six past lives, fifty-six histories.

Fifty-six lifetimes to explore: the prospect is irresistible to Alex, especially when the same mysterious boy with soulful blue eyes keeps showing up in each of them. But the more she descends, the more it becomes apparent that someone doesn’t want Alex to travel again. Ever.

And will stop at nothing to make this life her last.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Sounds like an intriguing new premise similar to David Levithan’s Every Day (although doubtfully as good) but with main character Alex being able to experience different lives throughout different time periods.

The Weirdness by Jeremy Bushnell

With the literary muscle of Victor LaValle’s Big Machine and the outlandish humor of Kevin Smith’s Dogma, this debut reveals the dark underbelly of the NY literary scene.

At thirty, Billy Ridgeway still hasn’t gotten around to becoming a writer; he thinks too much to get anything done, really, except making sandwiches at a Greek deli with his buddy Anil. But the Devil shows up with fancy coffee one morning, promising to make Billy’s dream of being published come true: as long as Billy steals The Neko of Infinite Equilibrium, a cat-shaped statue with magical powers, from the most powerful warlock in the Eastern United States.

The Devil’s bidding sends Billy on a wild chase through New York City, through which Billy discovers his own strength, harnessing his powers as a hell-wolf and finally fighting the warlock face-to-face. God even makes a guest appearance, and He’s not who you thought He was.

Bushnell’s stunningly imaginative debut is about finding meaning in life, confronting your biggest critics, and discovering that a boring life might be the best life of all.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: The plot was just weird enough to have caught our eye and the comparison to Dogma and mentions of protagonist Billy’s literary dreams kept it there.

Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Anne Fowler

Picture a late-May morning in 1918, a time when Montgomery wore her prettiest spring dress and finest floral perfume—same as I would wear that evening…

Thus begins the story of beautiful, reckless, seventeen-year-old Zelda Sayre on the day she meets Lieutenant Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald at a country club dance. Fitzgerald isn’t rich or settled; no one knows his people; and he wants, of all things, to be a writer in New York. No matter how wildly in love they may be, Zelda’s father firmly opposes the match. But when Scott finally sells his first novel, This Side of Paradise, Zelda defies her parents to board a train to New York and marry him in the vestry of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Life is a sudden whirl of glamour and excitement: Everyone wants to meet the dashing young author of the scandalous novel—and his beautiful, perhaps even more scandalous wife. Zelda bobs her hair, trades in her provincial finery for daring dresses, and plunges into the endless party that welcomes the darlings of the literary world to New York, then Paris and the French Riviera.

It is the Jazz Age, when everything seems new and possible—except that dazzling success does not always last. Surrounded by a thrilling array of magnificent hosts and mercurial geniuses—including Sara and Gerald Murphy, Gertrude Stein, and the great and terrible Ernest Hemingway—Zelda and Scott find the future both grander and stranger than they could have ever imagined.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Who doesn’t want to read a story set during the Roaring Twenties about the crazed and tragic Zelda Fitzgerald? Bonus: that cover.

 Notes from the Internet Apocalypse by Wayne Gladstone

When the Internet suddenly stops working, society reels from the loss of flowing data, instant messages, and streaming entertainment. Addicts wander the streets, talking to themselves in 140 characters or forcing cats to perform tricks for their amusement, while the truly desperate pin their requests for casual encounters on public bulletin boards. The economy tumbles further and the government passes the draconian NET Recovery Act.

For Gladstone, the Net’s disappearance comes particularly hard following the loss of his wife, leaving his flask of Jamesons and grandfather’s fedora as the only comforts in his Brooklyn apartment. But there are rumors that someone in New York is still online. Someone set apart from this new world where Facebook flirters “poke” each other in real life and members of Anonymous trade memes at secret parties. Where a former librarian can sell information as a human search engine, and the perverted fulfill their secret fetishes at the blossoming Rule 34 club. With the help of his friends, a blogger and a webcam girl both now out of work, Gladstone sets off to find the Internet. But is he the right man to save humanity from this Apocalypse?

For fans of David Wong, Chad Kultgen, and Chuck Palahniuk, Wayne Gladstone’s Notes from the Internet Apocalypse examines the question “What is life without the Web?”

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: An apocalyptic event that actually sounds frightening (the loss of the internet) with some satire thrown in that’s compared to the likes of David Wong and Chuck Palahniuk? Hells yes!

Panic by Lauren Oliver

Panic began as so many things do in Carp, a dead-end town of 12,000 people in the middle of nowhere: because it was summer, and there was nothing else to do.

Heather never thought she would compete in Panic, a legendary game played by graduating seniors, where the stakes are high and the payoff is even higher. She’d never thought of herself as fearless, the kind of person who would fight to stand out. But when she finds something, and someone, to fight for, she will discover that she is braver than she ever thought.

Dodge has never been afraid of Panic. His secret will fuel him, and get him all the way through the game, he’s sure of it. But what he doesn’t know is that he’s not the only one with a secret. Everyone has something to play for.

For Heather and Dodge, the game will bring new alliances, unexpected revelations, and the possibility of first love for each of them—and the knowledge that sometimes the very things we fear are those we need the most.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Not only do we want to know what this haunting sounding game involves, but as big fans of Lauren Oliver’s Before I Fall and Delirium (not to mention Pandemonium) we cannot wait to see what she’s written now.

Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi

From the prizewinning author of Mr. Fox, the Snow White fairy tale brilliantly recast as a story of family secrets, race, beauty, and vanity.

In the winter of 1953, Boy Novak arrives by chance in a small town in Massachusetts, looking, she believes, for beauty—the opposite of the life she’s left behind in New York. She marries a local widower and becomes stepmother to his winsome daughter, Snow Whitman.

A wicked stepmother is a creature Boy never imagined she’d become, but elements of the familiar tale of aesthetic obsession begin to play themselves out when the birth of Boy’s daughter, Bird, who is dark-skinned, exposes the Whitmans as light-skinned African Americans passing for white. Among them, Boy, Snow, and Bird confront the tyranny of the mirror to ask how much power surfaces really hold.

Dazzlingly inventive and powerfully moving, Boy, Snow, Bird is an astonishing and enchanting novel. With breathtaking feats of imagination, Helen Oyeyemi confirms her place as one of the most original and dynamic literary voices of our time.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: We’re suckers for fractured fairy tales (this one being about Snow White), especially ones referred to as “dazzling inventive,” “enchanting” and “powerfully moving.”

In this post, from Marvel Comics: Loki: Agent of Asgard #2 and from Vertigo: Fairest #24 and Trillium #7. Man am I having some serious flashbacks to February 5th.

Marvel Comics

Loki: Agent of Asgard #2 by Al Ewing, illustrated by Lee Garbett, cover by Jenny Frison
Genre: Fiction, action, adventure, humor
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Loki is back again in his brand new series in which he desires to stay as the good Loki version of himself he became when he was reborn in Young Avengers. In order to achieve his goals of being a more loving trickster god, Loki is working for the triumvirate the All-Mother, and in return for following orders his past misdeeds are wiped from Asgardian history. In this issue, he’s been tasked with locating an old fling of his and Thor’s named Lorelei, because the All-Mother wants all Asgardians on Midgard to be returned. This is made even more difficult because Lorelei is currently in the midst of committing a huge heist Oceans 11 and 12 style and there are all these rules of illusions that I couldn’t be bothered to follow.

As with the premiere issue and the Kieron Gillen created Loki from YA, the humor and sass are still 100% there. For instance, in this entire issue Loki is regaling a girl who cannot lie with the story of his hunt for Lorelei while on a speed date! That’s right, Loki is speed dating. He also spends part of the issue preparing for an apartment warming party of adorable because at his first apartment he mistakenly convinced his neighbors he was Harry Styles. Oh humans, so gullible. The humor thankfully runs from the very first page all the way to the letters page which has been hilariously titled: “Here’s Loki-ing At You.” More terrible puns forever please!

Vertigo

Fairest #24 by Marc Andreyko, illustrated by Shawn McManus, cover by Adam Hughes
Genre: Fiction, fractured fairy-tale, fantasy, drama
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

In this newest issue of Fairest entitled “Of Men and Mice,” Marc Andreyko gives us the continuing saga of that one mouse that Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother turned into a man who someone stayed a man who had sex with so many women that he made lots of human, mice and human mice babies. Subtitle: Mice Mice, Mice Babies. Second Subtitle: The Rules of Magic are Confusing and Make No Sense. THE END! It’s truly a heartwarming tale about a mouse turned man named Marcel whose powers over mice make so much sense. One that ties into the murder attempts that are going on back in New York and may be related to the familiar face that is chasing after good old Cinderella.

Speaking of New York, the story also checks in with that Fairy Godmother, who after previous events is in intensive care in the hospital in Fabletown. Despite being fictional and immortal beings, doctors are not optimistic about her recovery and seem to think that if she does wake up it will be with the personality of an orange. Seriously writers? This was the perfect place to make a pumpkin joke. Anyway, the Three Blind Mice are on guard when they humorously decide to leave a commercial for Rodgers and Hammerstein “Cinderella” on the television to stimulate brain function. Here’s hoping it didn’t advertise the Carly Rae Jepsen version.

Trillium #7 by Jeff Lemire, illustrated by Jeff Lemire, cover by Jeff Lemire
Genre: Fiction, science fiction, romance, apocalyptic
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Nika and William continue to be literally star-crossed lovers in the penultimate issue of Trillium, even more so having recently swapped lives. Huzzah for a new take on the body swap trope! William is now living in 3769 on the brink of apocalypse from a sentient disease known as the Caul and Nika is in an alternate historical version of 1921 France and they are both desperately trying to get to one another. Jeff Lemire promised that it would be the last love story ever told and it sure is shaping up to be. I mean, did you see that cover? I’m already crying in anticipation.

Overall, I’m super curious to see where Lemire takes this comic to its final conclusion next month. Although I’m secretly hoping that its in a way that makes it easier to figure out how I’m supposed to read this thing because sometimes the way its structured seems a little gimmicky. Although it probably has some purpose that I have yet to figure out because I’m too annoying that I have to turn my laptop upside down. The one panel in which Nika travels through time and space is interesting, but the rest of the time the issue read like stereo instructions. Stereo instructions! It’s okay though Mr. Lemire, I forgive you. Because I know in issue #8 you’re going to break my heart like you always do.

The promotional material continues to be churned out by HBO for the fourth season of “Game of Thrones” (April 6th!) and one of those things is the extremely confusing rap mixtape “Catch the Throne.”

You know, because when you think of “Game of Thrones” you think of rap music. (Okay maybe for that GoT rap battle. And “Whur Muh Boats At.”)

Anyway, we have included the track “The Mother of Dragons” by Big Boi for you above and the entirety of the album with track listings below.

Yes, this strange thing is blessedly free.

1. Big Boi – “Mother of Dragons”
2. Magazeen – “Iron Throne”
3. Bodega Bamz – “Win or Die”
4. Kilo Kish – “Magical Reality”
5. Daddy Yankee – “Born to Rule”
6. Dominik Omega – “Arya’s Prayer”
7. Snow tha Product – “Fire”
8. Dee Goodz – “The Parallel”
9. Common – “The Ladder”
10. Wale – “King Slayer”

(via: Rickey)

Shit Rough Drafts the Book Gets a Hilarious Trailer (via Shit Rough Drafts)

So there’s a book coming out called Shit Rough Drafts, or to be less indelicate: Sh*t Rough Drafts, which re-imagines what original drafts for books and movies might have looked like with a satirical twist. In the trailer, F. Scott Fitzgerald and his agent talk about his novel The Cool Gatsby. We personally were all for The Great Glartsby. The actual book (complete with more drafts) will be available for purchase on April 15.

Read an Excerpt from Laini Taylor’s Dreams of Gods & Monsters – OH MY GOD! (via Entertainment Weekly)

The final book in Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke & Bone trilogy, Dreams of Gods & Monsters is coming to a bookstore near you on April 8th, but you can read an excerpt now on Entertainment Weekly. Sure it’s only the first sixteen pages, but the chapter is called “Nightmare Ice Cream” so we find no fault in that.

Here’s Harry Potter as Told By People Who Have Never Actually Read Harry Potter (via Jezebel)

Hard to believe, but there are some people out there who have yet to read any books in the Harry Potter series or watch anything in the painful movie franchise. Thankfully for us, these people were interviewed to see what they thought the boy wizard was all about. To summarize: Harry had a Z drawn on his forehead by a monster before being taken in a wagon to magic school with Gandalf. Where he promptly died. You can watch all the hilarity above.

Readers Match Books Up to Their Body Parts for Awesome Results (via The Mary Sue)

Move aside internet memes, because there’s a literary one in town and it involves matching your own body parts up to those on book covers. You can check out all the amazing photos (submitted by users around the world) on the Tumblr Corpus Libris. Ah, we see what you did there.

Check Out These Gorgeously Re-Designed DC Superheroes and Villains (via Tumblr)

Sometimes there’s nothing like a fun superhero and supervillain re-design courtesy of the internet. The newest offering is from jigokuen, who designed the DC characters in fun and funky street clothes with a 90′s feel. You can view the entire re-design over on Tumblr. Looking good ladies, looking good!

Geek Love is 25 Years Old and Inspired All Your Favorite Things in Pop Culture (via Wired)

Katherine Dunn’s amazingly inventive novel Geek Love about a family of radioactive and inbred circus folk is in the midst of its 25-year anniversary, and to celebrate, Wired wrote an article about everything the book inspired with its publication. If the article is a tad TL;DR for you, here a rundown, the novel inspired: Karen Russell, Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kurt Cobain, Monty Python member turned director Terry Gilliam and Harlan Ellison. Not to mention that Henry Selick and Tim Burton wanted to make it an animated movie and even Lana and Andy Wachowski convinced Warner Bros. to buy the books permanent rights (in order to make a movie directed by Tim Burton). So what we’re saying here is: if you have yet to read it, you should get on that.

What time is it? “Game of Thrones” trailer time! We know, we know: again? Yes again.

This time with even more dragons.

You can check out trailer three (“Secrets”) above and peruse trailers one and two (“Vengeance”) below. Although really we prefer this fan made one that makes excellent use of Lorde’s “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” cover.

(via: HBO)

So a slew of “Game of Thrones” cast members are gracing the newest issue of Vanity Fair and even more are to be found within its pages, along with the intel that yes, President Obama does get to view episodes earlier than the rest of us. Really dude? Not fair.

We’re sure there are plenty more pictures (because we know Hodor and Brienne were on set along with the Stark children and the Hound) but we guess we’ll just have to wait for those.

For now however you can enjoy the super Photoshopped Vanity Fair cover below and see who the cast thinks should sit on the Iron Throne. Sadly, no one is Team Benjen Stark, but believe us, we have not seen the last of him. That guy has to be Jon Snow’s mother.

Someone get Jon Snow a look other than this one please! Also, what Instagram filter did Vanity Fair use on this cover because we’d like to know.

You can kindly head below to watch Emilia Clarke’s adorable suggestion that Dany and Ser Jorah can share the Iron Throne “a bum cheek each.”

Headcanon accepted!

(via: Celebitchy)

The Riverman by Aaron Starmer (Galley)
Release Date: March 18, 2014
Genre: Fiction, horror, fantasy, childrens, this is what happens when you get to become immortal in a world you build of your own making
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Summary: Despite being named Alistair, Alistair has a pretty typical childhood, until the school weirdo Fiona Loomis decides to re-enter his life with a request that he write her biography. That’s when she tells him about the Riverman, an unknown entity who is the cause of a rush of child disappearance and abduction cases around the world. As Alistair falls for Fiona, he must separate truth from fiction and decide whether her story is true, a mere fancy or a shield that hides a much darker secret.

I have to admit, The Riverman (which GoodReads claims is the first in a trilogy) originally caught my attention because the cover looked super similar to the artwork on Colin Meloy’s trilogy Wildwood (illustrated by Carson Ellis), which is about some magic woods and their relation to the lives of the hipster children (kid hipsters and the children of hipsters) living in Portland. You can see a comparison of those two covers below (waaay below) if the mood strikes you.

However, I am extremely glad I was pulled in by Yelena Bryksenkova’s artwork, because author Aaron Starmer’s premise was just the right level of intriguing and creepy, seeking to explore a boy and a girl fighting against the forces of the mysterious Riverman, who steals the souls and stories of imaginative children. Or so it would seem on the surface. Kindly insert your dun dun duns here.

Sure on the outside the novel seems like a book about a boogie man that children need to fear, but it goes so much deeper than that, exploring the flawed nature of memories (although the majority of this occurs in the opening of the novel and the epigraph) and even more so about how the unbelievable stories people tell themselves in their own imaginations are merely coping mechanisms to deal with the world at large.

This is explored through Fiona, who comes to her childhood friend Alistair and claims that she is able to travel to a world called Aquavania (through some floating water near her radiator), where her imagination can actually create worlds. As she explains, Aquavania is the place “where stories are born” and travel into the minds of artists and writers to come to fruition. The children who enter Aquavania use their imagination to fill their needs — as they seek to do in the real world, but in this case their imaginations are made flesh. Or as real as they can be in this other dimension. I’m a little fuzzy on the exact mechanics.

Unfortunately, her friends, other children inside Aquavania are being destroyed by the nefarious Riverman, who uses his pen to steal their souls. In this case their souls (their essence) are their very selves, their imaginations if you will, which he takes to suit his own needs. They don’t quite know what he wants, all Fiona knows is that her friends are disappearing in Aquavania and going missing in the Solid World as well.

Ever the realist, Alistair takes this fantastical tale and assumes that Fiona is attempting to cope with her deranged Uncle, who rumor has it — thanks to the town gossip — returned from the war a tad altered. Furthermore, Alistair sees the Riverman as not only a physical person threatening Fiona but as a metaphor for those who seek to steal that which we most need in our lives. Happiness? Love? Pick your poison.

But could Fiona’s story be real and her Uncle merely the adult version of the class weirdo? When Fiona says she’s now aged mentally while in Aquavania does she mean this literally or does she mean that the situation at home has made her an old soul? These are questions that Alistair spends the majority of the novel unpacking on his own. As the ever helpful adults in the story he is recalling to the reader tell him, “Cries for help aren’t always cries. Sometimes they’re stories.”

The Riverman isn’t just about all that however, it’s also about young and first loves, which seem cute to the adults watching them blossom, but hold a greater meaning to those who are experiencing them. Just ask Romeo and Juliet and their notions of true love. Alistair experiences this more than most as he goes around asking his elder sister if girls need boys to save them. As most boys raised in our society, he is under the false belief that girls need protection from monsters and may be in need of a Lancelot of their own, although he seeks to save Fiona from her own personal demons which are a little more real than most.

That’s rough, buddy.

Bonus: the entire novel takes place over the course of six weeks, from October 13, 1989 (Friday the 13th to be precise) all the way through November 20th. So expect plenty of fun ’80s tidbits like tape players and neon jackets and white leggings. I’m having flashbacks. Horrible, horrible flashbacks.

THE GOOD:
-Premise that is equal parts original and creepy
-Can I live in Aquavania, because minus the Riverman I want to go to there
-The twist at the end was actually surprising (which does not happen here often)
-Also that ending, was not expecting it to end like it did for a middle grade novel, although maybe all will be explained in the possible second book

THE BAD:
-The real world is often more interesting than the Aquavania that Fiona tells Alistair about

THE QUOTES:
“Cries for help aren’t always cries. Sometimes they’re stories.”
“We all see what we want to see.”
“We all need lots of things. And we usually keep those things a secret.”
“Death takes everyone. Most of us too early, a few of us not early enough.”
“People will believe anything they read. They rarely ask who wrote it.”
“It’s amazing the stories you can make yourself believe.”

For other novels that look into the memories of our childhood and the exploration of how flawed they may be, take your next step into the genre that sounds like it was written by Netflix with Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane! That was a terrible simile, but just go with it.

The Course of True Love (And First Dates): The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare

Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood might fall in love—but first they have a first date. One of ten adventures in The Bane Chronicles.

When Magnus Bane, warlock, meets Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunter, sparks fly. And what happens on their first date lights a flame…

This standalone e-only short story illuminates the life of the enigmatic Magnus Bane, whose alluring personality populates the pages of the #1 New York Times bestselling series The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices. This story in The Bane Chronicles, The Course of True Love (and First Dates), is written by Cassandra Clare.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: It’s the last short story in the Bane Chronicles featuring love interest Alec Lightwood! So really? What’s not to like?

William Shakespeare’s the Empire Striketh Back by  Ian Doescher

The saga that began with the interstellar best seller William Shakespeare’s Star Wars continues with this merry reimagining of George Lucas’s enduring classic The Empire Strikes Back.

Many a fortnight have passed since the destruction of the Death Star. Young Luke Skywalker and his friends have taken refuge on the ice planet of Hoth, where the evil Darth Vader has hatched a cold-blooded plan to capture them. Only with the help of a little green Jedi Master—and a swaggering rascal named Lando Calrissian—can our heroes escape the Empire’s wrath. And only then will Lord Vader learn how sharper than a tauntaun’s tooth it is to have a Jedi child.

What light through Yoda’s window breaks? Methinks you’ll find out in the pages of The Empire Striketh Back!

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: The hilarious continuation of William Shakespeare’s Star Wars takes on the second film in the series The Empire Strikes Back, although you know, with a Shakespearean title.

When We Wake by Karen Healey

Sixteen-year-old Tegan is just like every other girl living in 2027—she’s happiest when playing the guitar, she’s falling in love for the first time, and she’s joining her friends to protest the wrongs of the world: environmental collapse, social discrimination, and political injustice.

But on what should have been the best day of Tegan’s life, she dies—and wakes up a hundred years later, locked in a government facility with no idea what happened.

The future isn’t all she had hoped it would be, and when appalling secrets come to light, Tegan must make a choice: Does she keep her head down and survive, or fight for a better world?

Award-winning author Karen Healey has created a haunting, cautionary tale of an inspiring protagonist living in a not-so-distant future that could easily be our own.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: This is probably the first young adult novel synopsis we’ve ever read where the main character is cryogenically frozen and wakes up in the future! And we must admit we’re intrigued.

Hyde by Daniel Levine

A reimagining of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from the monster’s perspective, Hyde makes a hero of a villain. As a bonus, Stevenson’s original novel is included at the back.

Mr. Hyde is hiding, trapped in Dr. Jekyll’s surgical cabinet, counting the hours until capture. As four days pass, he has the chance, finally, to tell the story of his brief, marvelous life.

We join Hyde, awakened after years of dormancy, in the mind he hesitantly shares with Jekyll. We spin with dizzy confusion as the potions take effect. We tromp through the dark streets of Victorian London. We watch Jekyll’s high-class life at a remove, blurred by a membrane of consciousness. We feel the horror of lost time, the helplessness of knowing we are responsible for the actions of a body not entirely our own.

Girls have gone missing. Someone has been killed. The evidence points to Mr. Hyde. Someone is framing him, terrorizing him with cryptic notes and whisper campaigns. Who can it be? Even if these crimes weren’t of his choosing, can they have been by his hand?

Though this classic has been often reinvented, no one ever imagined Hyde’s perspective, or that he could be heroic. Daniel Levine changes that. A mesmerizing gothic, Hyde tells the fascinating story of an underexamined villain.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Retellings of classic literature can be great, but when they’re told from the perspective of the villain they’re often even better. Also we really want to know what Edward Hyde has to say for himself.

The Riverman by Aaron Starmer

“To sell a book, you need a description on the back. So here’s mine: My name is Fiona Loomis. I was born on August 11, 1977. I am recording this message on the morning of October 13, 1989. Today I am thirteen years old. Not a day older. Not a day younger.”

Fiona Loomis is Alice, back from Wonderland. She is Lucy, returned from Narnia. She is Coraline, home from the Other World. She is the girl we read about in storybooks, but here’s the difference: She is real.

Twelve-year-old Alistair Cleary is her neighbor in a town where everyone knows each other. One afternoon, Fiona shows up at Alistair’s doorstep with a strange proposition. She wants him to write her biography. What begins as an odd vanity project gradually turns into a frightening glimpse into a clearly troubled mind. For Fiona tells Alistair a secret. In her basement there’s a gateway and it leads to the magical world of Aquavania, the place where stories are born. In Aquavania, there’s a creature called the Riverman and he’s stealing the souls of children. Fiona’s soul could be next.

Alistair has a choice. He can believe her, or he can believe something else…something even more terrifying.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: We may have already reviewed this fantastical exploration of stories as defense mechanisms HERE, wherein we explain why you should add this creepy yet fun story to your list of books to pick up.

 The Time Traveler’s Almanac [edited] by Ann VanderMeer and Jeff VanderMeer

The Time Traveler’s Almanac is the largest and most definitive collection of time travel stories ever assembled. Gathered into one volume by intrepid chrononauts and world-renowned anthologists Ann and Jeff VanderMeer, this book compiles more than a century’s worth of literary travels into the past and the future that will serve to reacquaint readers with beloved classics of the time travel genre and introduce them to thrilling contemporary innovations.

This marvelous volume includes nearly seventy journeys through time from authors such as Douglas Adams, Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, William Gibson, Ursula K. Le Guin, George R. R. Martin, Michael Moorcock, H. G. Wells, and Connie Willis, as well as helpful non-fiction articles original to this volume (such as Charles Yu’s “Top Ten Tips For Time Travelers”).

In fact, this book is like a time machine of its very own, covering millions of years of Earth’s history from the age of the dinosaurs through to strange and fascinating futures, spanning the ages from the beginning of time to its very end. The Time Traveler’s Almanac is the ultimate anthology for the time traveler in your life.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: It’s the most-definitive collection of time traveler stories in one place with some of the biggest names in the business! Douglas Adams! Ray Bradbury! Ursula K. Le Guin! H.G. Wells! Can we get a hells yes.

Don’t get us wrong, we loved Lois Lowry’s The Giver back in the day (and even when re-reading the Giver Quartet recently) but there is something decidedly lacking in this trailer.

Is it because the dystopic society doesn’t really look futuristic or dystopic enough? Is it because of Jeff Bridges weirdo voice? Is it because Jonas is the hottest Twelve to ever Twelve? Or his decidedly not pale eyes?

Is it because in the community everyone sees in black and white to give off the idea of equality and sameness and the film doesn’t even bother to mute color at all? (Take a tip from Pleasantville guys.)

Or maybe it’s just super boring and does nothing to make us want to rush out to and see this adaptation.

You be the judge.

The Giver will arrive in theatres on August 15th.

(via: Crushable)