“South Park” Won Television With Their Kanye West/Kim Kardashian Hobbit Parody Episode (via Rickey)

We thought “South Park” could not top their Black Friday/”Game of Thrones” trilogy (which ended in a violent Red Robin Wedding this month), but then in their season finale they had an entire plot revolving around Kanye West trying to convince himself that Kim Kardashian is not a Hobbit. You know, even though she is friends with a wizard named Gandalf, smokes a pipe, sings songs while drinking grog, once killed a dragon with her dwarf friends and has a movie loosely based on her show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” called The Hobbit out. Which is about tiny, loud people living in a fantasy world. We died. You can check out all the Kimye/Hobbit clips over on Rickey.

This Football Player Claims That He Graduated from Hogwarts (via Cheezburger)

Apparently while the sportsball is playing on television, the players occasionally pop up to introduce themselves and tell viewers where they graduated from. AKA who gave them their free ride to school because they’re good at sportsball, not because they will actually appreciate a free education. Well, according to player Greg Hardy (nicknamed the Kraken), he graduated from Hogwarts. Or maybe the Kraken is his alter ego and he’s really just the giant squid that lives in the lake? Headcanon accepted!

Honest Trailers Tackles The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (via YouTube)

The staff behind Honest Trailers have decided to take on the first Hobbit movie, seeing as how the second film in the trilogy is now out. Their gripes include the unnecessary decision to make the shortest book by Tolkien into the longest movie, the even more unnecessary high-frame rate that reportedly made people sick and those darn eagles who yet again could have worked a little harder to get the gang closer to the Lonely Mountain. Not to mention Thorin Oakenshield, AKA not Viggo Mortenson and the Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire.

Sh*t Rough Drafts Sounds Like a Hysterical Book We Need to Read (via Tumblr)

Books that sound awesome and we’re hoping are just as hysterical in theory as they are in execution: Sh*t Rough Drafts, which imagines what the first draft of classic literature, screenplays and modern books might have looked like. For example, first drafts of Harry Potter, Macbeth, The Lord of the Rings, Moby Dick and Star Wars! (Ugh, this book needs to be good.) Sh*t Rough Drafts is currently available for pre-order and will finally be released on April 15, 2014.

Sir Ian McKellen Meets His Gandalf Puppet Doppelganger (via Jezebel)

What would happen if Sir Ian McKellen met a puppet version of himself (otherwise known as Gandalf because Ian McKellen is Gandalf) on “Sesame Street”? Well according to this Vine, he would demand to pass and then hilarity would ensue. You can check out the video over on Vine because God forbid WordPress allow us to embed anything. The worst.

This is What the X-Men Would Look Like in the Middle Ages (via Laughing Squid)

Ever wonder what the X-Men would look like if they were fighting supervillains during the medieval period? Or maybe if they were on “Game of Thrones”? You probably haven’t, but just in case you have, artist Nate Hallinan has created a series of illustrations called the Order of X which imagines just that. You can check out all the members of the Order of X and buy the prints over on INPRNT, including: Wolve’rune, Lord Xavier, Stormbringer, Lady Grey and more!

Even Better Than That, Here Are Disney Princesses as Star Wars Characters (via The Mary Sue)

In other fun interpretations of Disney princesses (see also: Disney princesses as benders and Disney princesses as can-can dancers), here’s what various Disney ladies would look like as Jedi, Sith Lords and a variety of other non-magical Star Wars characters. Meaning always bad ass if not occasionally encased in carbonite. Poor Sleeping Beauty just can’t catch a break.

HBO has put out a video showing a sneak peak at their shows in 2014, but let’s be honest, none of them really matter except “Game of Thrones.”

You can check out the video above to see the “Game of Thrones” Season 4 sneak peak and check out just what these specific scenes mean below the jump.

WARNING: There be so many spoilers below. Not all the spoilers, but still some spoilers.

Scene one is probably the most difficult to decipher and features a possibly male figure on horseback running toward some people with a lance. We’re assuming it takes place in Mereen? Or maybe Dorne? Is it the Red Viper? A fight with the Champion of Mereen? We have no idea. At least the rest of the promo makes sense.

Tyrion Lannister is up next and if you pay close attention, you will notice that his hands are manacled, because he’s been accused of doing something to King Joffrey and is in custody for it. Strangely enough it looks like Sansa is sitting in on this scene which leads to more questions.

Awww, look how happy King Joffrey looks while sitting through his own wedding while the Queen of Thorns gives what we assume to be an awesome speech. Drink up Joffrey, wine makes everything better.

Jamie Lannister is back at King’s Landing looking clean shaven and in desperate need of a different haircut. He is most likely flipping through the White Book (the Book of Brothers) which records all the deeds of members of the Kingsguard. And if you look closely at his missing right hand you’ll notice that it’s now gold!

Finally Sansa looks happy, most likely because she’s not at King’s Landing anymore but is in another location that may look familiar if you’ve been paying attention.

And there you have it, the first look at “Game of Thrones” Season 4. We’re super stoked to see some events and super dreading others. ::sobs quietly:: They don’t call it A Song of Ice and I Want to Set Myself on Fire for nothing.

What? Is that not the title?

Sandman is finally coming to the big screen with help from Man of Steel and Dark Knight screenwriter David Goyer and the film’s producer: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Say what!?!

JGL has also been rumored to direct and star as the title character Morpheus in the project, but so far he’s only admitted to a producing credit.

As he wrote on Twitter of the turn of events:

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm incredibly honored to be working with David Goyer, Warner Bros, and @neilhimself on SANDMAN. #Prelude—
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (@hitRECordJoe) December 17, 2013

Just to clarify, folks. I've signed on as a producer on Sandman. The rest remains to be seen. Delighted you guys are excited. I am too!—
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (@hitRECordJoe) December 17, 2013

This wouldn’t be the first Sandman attempt that was made, there was a failed movie in the ’90s as well as a failed television show several years ago.

And something tells us it won’t be easy to turn the 75-issue comic book opus (released between 1989 to 1996) into a movie this time around either. Although we could be totally wrong.

Sandman was originally published by Vertigo and followed Morpheus, the ruler of dreams and his various family members the Endless, specifically: Death, Destiny, Delirium, Desire, Destruction and Despair.

If you have yet to read the series, GET ON THAT RIGHT NOW. And then check out the equally amazing prequel.

(via NY Daily News)

Ommegang has already put out two “Game of Thrones” beers (Iron Throne Ale and Take the Black Stout) with a third coming out in the Spring of 2014 called Fire and Blood Red Ale. And now the brewery is allowing fans to pick the fourth beer in the line.

The current poll is between four choices (which you can check out in more detail under the cut) specifically: Valar Morghulis, Hand of the King, Seven Kingdoms and Khal.

What!?! No Mother of Flagons!?! You need to work on your puns Ommegang, Take the Black Stout was an inspired name.

You can make your vote on the “Game of Thrones” Facebook page in the next 72 hours (give or take), just remember to choose wisely.

The newest beer will be available for purchase in the Fall of 2014 with an announcement sometime in the Spring. Don’t forget to check out all the beer options below.

1 – Valar Morghulis – Dubbel – Valar Morghulis is an Old Valyrian saying closely associated with the desire for vengeance. Thus, a Belgian-style Dubbel was chosen to capture the sweetness of revenge as well as the dangerous consequences that come with it.

2 – Hand of the King – Quadrupel – The responsibility of running a kingdom can only be matched by the complexity of a Belgian-style Quadrupel ale. Rich in flavor and dark in color, a Quad is the perfect companion for waging war, brokering peace, or enduring a Small Council meeting.

3 – Seven Kingdoms – Tripel – The golden Tripel is the universally agreed pinnacle of Belgian brewing achievement, making it the perfect beer to represent the legacy of the Seven Kingdoms. Though supremely drinkable, the Tripel comes with a spicy character that represents the sordid events of the history of Westeros.

4 – Khal – Quadrupel – The Dothraki people, like the Belgian-style Quad, are the strongest of the strong and Boldest of the bold. Quads rest atop the pyramid of Belgian beer because of their strength, so this style makes a fitting tribute to the men that rule the mighty Khalisars of Essos.

(via Zap2it)

Remember when everyone got excited about that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them movie? Well now there’s more for the wizarding world to celebrate: a J.K. Rowling produced prequel play!

So basically a play about Harry Potter being sad in a cupboard while talking to his spider friends.

Sign us up?

As JKR explained of the play on her Facebook page, “What was it like to be the boy in the cupboard under the stairs? This brand new play, which will be developed for the UK theatre, will explore the previously untold story of Harry’s early years as an orphan and outcast.”

“Featuring some of our favourite characters from the Harry Potter books, this new work will offer a unique insight into the heart and mind of the now legendary young wizard. A seemingly ordinary boy, but one for whom Destiny has plans…”

Said play is set to premiere in the London’s West End in around two years time. Man, and we thought 2015 was going to be crazy for movies.

Merry Christmas, Harry Potter fandom!

(via Hypable)

Ned Vizzini, the YA author who wrote openly and often in a humorous manner about his struggles with depression has died at 32 after taking his own life.

His brother Daniel has confirmed that he passed yesterday (December 19) after jumping off the roof of his parents Brooklyn home.

You may know Vizzini from his novel It’s Kind of a Funny Story which was also adapted into a feature film, or with his co-written book alongside filmmaker Chris Columbus entitled House of Secrets. It was set to be the first in a trilogy.

Also a television writer, Vizzini penned two episodes of the paranormal teen drama Teen Wolf and was working with J.J. Abrams on the show “Believe.”

He is survived by his wife and son.

(via People)

There’s a Hilarious Rap Version of the “Misty Mountains” Song From The Hobbit (via Topless Robot)

We’ve posted our fair share of nerdy rap songs (including that amazingly epic “Game of Thrones” birthday rap), but you can never have enough, so here’s a rap version of “Misty Mountains” from The Hobbit. If Thorin Oakenshield explaining that his back story is as dark as the beard on his face doesn’t excite you, we just don’t know what will. Bonus: there is a super sexy dwarf in this version too. And rapping Gandalf. So much rapping Gandalf.

Check Out These Beautiful Nerd Aprons You’ll Be Afraid to Cook In (via The Mary Sue)

We have found the best and nerdiest aprons in existence, and they can all be found in the Etsy shop Bambino Amore, which combines gorgeous pin-up aprons with ultimate geekery. There are selections for every fandom, including: “Doctor Who,” DC Comics (Batman, Wonder Woman), Marvel Comics (Wolverine), “Legend of Zelda” and even some “She-Ra!” And if none of that strikes your fancy, they do take custom orders. Perfect for daily use or just some awesome cosplay, although daily use may be a tad messy.

There’s Nothing Bloodier Than a George R. R. Martin Christmas (via Dorkly)

Christmas may have ended four days ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to read this hilarious George R. R. Martin is mistaken for Santa comic from the fine folks at Dorkly. In the comic (which you can read in full over HERE) a young boy is convinced author GRRM is Santa and shenanigans ensue. Albeit bloody shenanigans. Valar Morghulis. Erm, we mean Merry Christmas.

Here’s a Bunch of Literary Mash-Ups We Wish Were Real (via S.G. Browne)

Literary mash-ups used to be all the rage, so we were super stoked to read these hilarious mash-up suggestions from author S.G. Browne who wrote all this amazing stuff. Suggestions include The Goodnight Moon Also Rises, The Perks of Being Lord of the Flies, The Old Man and the One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, To Kill a Mockingjay and more! Even better, the hypothetical mash-ups come complete with hilarious back copy. Check them all on his blog HERE.

Black Milk Clothing Has a Batman Line of Awesome Coming Out (via Fashionably Geek)

Since the Australian clothing company Black Milk continues to want us to give them our money, they are currently working on a brand new Batman line that includes this bathing suit (which is rumored to have a detachable cape). And based on some photos from their 4th birthday party, we can expect plenty of Joker, Poison Ivy and even more Batman-related options to choose from. Huzzah!

Gandalf Tells a Tram It Shall Not Pass So the Fellowship Can Get Through (via Laughing Squid)

So yeah, this is nothing new (Gandalf has also been telling people they shall not pass in Central Park among other places), but this man dressed like Gandalf stopping a tram car is still funny. Especially because not only does he stop the tram, but stops it so people dressed like the Fellowship can run past to safety. Make sure you stick around to the very end to get a glimpse of the most frightening Gollum ever.

You Can Own a Real Life Batman Utility Belt and Batarang (via Comics Alliance)

Vintage Batfans, you can now own your very own replica displayable and wearable Batman utility belt from the 1966 “Batman” starring Adam West. That’s right, it’s wearable and comes with its very own Batarang. Although we wouldn’t necessarily recommend trying to use it as a real weapon. Thanks Mattel! Said belt and Batarang is currently retailing for $125.00, which is pretty steep if you ask us. Albeit fashionable. If that’s in your price range though, what’s to stop you? BUY IT Bruce Wayne!

Ho, ho, ho, merry 2014!

NAILED IT!

If you know me, you will know that the only New Year’s Resolutions I set for myself are reading based ones. If not, then you do now. Since 2008 when I started keeping track of my literary conquests (when my goal was a mere 50 books for the year) I have been nailing my reading goals. Although most of my other reading resolutions usually fail.

For the second year in a row I set my reading goal at 150 books and for the second year in a row I succeeded in that goal. Although by the skin of my teeth. However, it wasn’t my fault, I had a wedding to plan. My wedding to be precise, so you could imagine why I was a tad busy.

Regardless, I did it!

In 2013 I read a grand total of 150 books (see full visual list HERE), hitting my goal but just barely. 33 of those were novels, 2 were anthologies, 10 were non-fiction, 42 of them were young adult novels, 53 were graphic novels and trades, 6 were children’s books and 4 were poetry collections or plays.

The Best of the Best:

Big Egos by S.G. Browne
Recommended for: Anyone who wishes they could be the fictional characters or famous celebrities who are more real to them than actual people.

Ever wanted to have the personality of Indiana Jones? Or Harry Potter? Or Oscar Wilde? Well in the futuristic world of Big Egos you can inject a cocktail into your body that makes that very thing possible. Thought provoking and humorous, S.G. Browne creates a world that you’ll wish were real life. Forget wearing metaphorical masks, this is next generation stuff. After all, a wise man once said that all the world is a stage.

Clockwork Princess: The Infernal Devices Book 3 by Cassandra Clare
Recommended for: Fans of The Infernal Devices series or anyone who wants the best ending possible from their trilogies.

If you’re a fan of Cassandra Clare but are tired of reading her other series, City of No One Cares About Jace and Clary Anymore, may I suggest the fabulous steampunk fantasy trilogy The Infernal Devices (AKA Will Herondale and That Time it Was Demon Pox). Not only does Clare create characters you will actually care about, but she wraps up the series in one of the most satisfying endings to a trilogy I have ever read. Everyone wins!

The Woman Who Died a Lot by Jasper Fforde
Recommended for: Lovers of the always amazing Thursday Next who don’t mind a move from the BookWorld and into the fun of time travel.

When we last left our heroine Thursday Next she was dealing with troubles in the BookWorld. This time around Jasper Fforde brings her back to alternate history England where she is tasked with running the Swindon Library. God has revealed he exists, the government is having trouble dealing with the Stupidity Surplus and the Chronoguard realizes that time travel was never invented and thus the technology ceases to exist. Nothing is simple in the world of Thursday Next, which is just how I like it.

Hawkeye Vol. 1: My Life as a Weapon and Hawkeye Vol. 2: Little Hits by Matt Fraction
Recommended for: Comic readers who enjoy a good color palate and a story that isn’t afraid to take the hero in a completely atypical direction.

This is the story of Hawkeye (mostly Hawkguy) when he isn’t being an Avenger. Meaning he’s continually being beaten up, drinking, being broke, getting bossed around by the other Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) and struggling with his continued existence. This isn’t your Silver Age Hawkeye, kids. Bonus: it’s the most uniquely colored book on the market.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
Recommended for: Neil Gaiman fanatics or readers who like their fantasy with a side of deep, metaphorical thoughts.

The hands down best fantasy book of the year came from Mr. Neil Gaiman. The haunting and evocative Ocean at the End of the Lane finds our narrator remembering a childhood full of witches, evil nannies and a duck pond so large it can fit an ocean inside. Part fantasy-horror tale, part exploration of the fickleness of our memories, if you only read one book from 2013, let it be this one. Dare I say it’s my favorite book of Gaiman’s ever? I know, that’s a scary statement to make.

The Humans by Matt Haig
Recommended for: Anyone and everyone.

I’ve slowly been working my way through Matt Haig’s catalog and knew that when I was in England I would have to pick up his new book The Humans since I loved the UK cover so much more than the US one. Little did I know I would spend my last evening and the entire flight home devouring the book. The Humans finds an immortal alien living inside the body of mathematician Professor Andrew Martin, who quickly discovers just what it means to be human. Funny and poignant, this is Matt Haig’s must read novel. (Along with The Radleys of course.)

NOS4A2 by Joe Hill
Recommended for: Any fans of horror, vampires, Christmas or just the ultimately strange and weird worlds of Joe Hill.

Man, 2013 was a wonderful year for books. Also out this last year was the horrifying and inventive NOS4A2, which follows the tale of charismatic villain Charles Talent Manx III as he takes children away to Christmasland, where they can live celebrating Christmas forever. That is until the tough as nails Vic “the Brat” and her Raleigh Tuff Burner learn to track him across the inspace and save the children he has stolen from a fate worse than death. They say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, but so too is Christmasland.

Young Avengers Vol. 1: Style > Substance and Young Avengers Vol. 2: Alternative Cultures by Kieron Gillen
Recommended for: Avengers enthusiasts who wish their heroes were a little funnier and a whole lot sassier.

Young, sassy and hip, it’s up to the Young Avengers to take down the world-destroying Mother who holds sway over the adults of the multi-verses. Featuring spunky Kid Loki, even more Kate Bishop, bacon divination, intriguing panel arrangements and enough meta and 4th wall breaking to sate the comic non-purist in you. The only downside is that while the individual comics hilariously recap the events through a fake tumblr called yamblr, this is missing for obvious reasons from the trade collections.

Punk Rock Jesus by Sean Gordon Murphy
Recommended for: If you love well-written comics and graphic novels, read this now. NOW!

In a bid to make reality television more interesting, one network takes DNA from the supposed Jesus (yes, that Jesus) and clones him inside the body of a virgin for the enjoyment of the nation. However, things take a nasty turn with Jesus and in the midst of his spunky teen phase goes through a rebellion that has him re-brand himself as the new messiah: Punk Rock Jesus. Thought-provokingly told from the perspective of Jesus’ bodyguard, this is a graphic novel that should be on the must read list for all comic fans.

Fairytales for Wilde Girls by Allyse Near
Recommended for: Fantasy fans with a preference for fairy tales and Oscar Wilde.

Sadly US readers, this one isn’t out in the United States yet, I was only able to get my hands on it through a friend of a friend who lives in Australia. But if you do know someone who lives down under, see if they can pick up a copy for you. It’s a fairy tale for fans of horror and fantasy alike, focusing on the secrets that are so terrible we even keep them from ourselves. Featuring dead girls in cages, ghosts, vengeful mermaids, furies and a heroine everyone wishes they could be: Isola Wilde.

Poor Yorick by Ryan North
Recommended for: Shakespeare lovers galore, particularly fans of Hamlet who can accurately quote the famous line, “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio…”

In case you missed it, Ryan North crowd-funded the highly successful To Be or Not to Be, a choose-your-own-adventure version of Hamlet. In conjunction with that was this prequel mini-adventure which pits you (Yorick) on a quest to get a job at the castle working as a court jester so you can become a skull in the Shakespearean classic. Laugh out loud hilarious, if you enjoyed To Be or Not to Be, this is a fun little diversion for you.

Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver
Recommended for: Young adult fans who would like the trope of the spoiled rich girl learning to be a better person.

In the highly inventive novel Before I Fall, popular girl Samantha Kingston must relive the last day of her life Groundhog Day style, and quickly realizes that things she thought were trivial in fact had lasting consequences for those around her. If 13 Reasons Why made you cry, get ready for the water works with Oliver’s fabulous look at life, death and the effect we have on the people around us. It’s a testament to Oliver’s writing that she can make the same day repeated over and over again remain ultimately interesting.

X-Treme X-Men Vol. 1: Xavier Must Die! and X-Treme X-Men Vol. 2: You Can’t Go Home Again by Greg Pak
Recommended for: Comic book fans with a fondness for alternate dimensions.

X-Treme X-Men was one of the strangest runs out there, but I’m sad to see it go. The premise of the book while not simple was extremely fun, a team led by Dazzler (awesome Dazzler not disco Dazzler) must travel from dimension to dimension killing all the evil Xaviers led in their quest by giant floating head Xavier. Also starring: Wolverine/James Howlett, the Governor-General over the Dominion of Canada who is having a secret love affair with Hercules, giant space whale Xavier, murderous cupcake unicorns and so many more shenanigans.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
Recommended for: Fangirls of all ages, but especially any ones with a special fondness for a boy wizard or two.

Fangirl tells the story of prolific fanfiction writer Cath, who is obsessed with the series about orphaned wizard Simon Snow and what she perceives as the romance with his arch-nemesis/vampire Baz at the Watford School of Magicks. Are your Harry Potter senses tingling? Cath’s coming of age story is engaging – especially as a parallel to her identical twin Wren – but so too is the story within the story. In fact, can we get an entire hilarious Simon Snow series? Come on Rainbow, it can be our Christmas and birthday present for 2014.

Vicious by V.E. Schwab
Recommended for: Readers who know that there is no good and evil in the real world but merely shades of grey.

Superheroes and supervillains find themselves pitted against one another in this inventive new book, but who is really the hero and who is the villain? Is something still a good deed if the intentions are good but the actions themselves are bad? In the world of Vicious, these are the questions characters face as anyone who survives a near death experiences discovers that they have gained other-worldly powers, branding them as EOs, also known as Extra-Ordinaries.

The Archived by Victoria Schwab
Recommended for: YA readers looking for something a little darker and more sinister with a richly built world.

Yes, Victoria Schwab and V.E. Schwab are the same person in case you were wondering. In this young adult novel (Victoria writes under the V.E. handle for her adult novels) Mac is a Keeper, in charge of keeping Histories (the shells of the deceased) inside the Archive (a library of the dead) if and when they awaken. It’s not all gloom and doom though, she’s helped along in her journey by aLibrarian named Roland, a youngish Scottish man with a fondness for Converse who Schwab has confirmed is based on David Tennant’s 10th Doctor. Fabulous!

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan
Recommended for: All bibliophiles regardless of what genre you enjoy.

I expected this book to be solely about a 24-hour bookstore and the strange citizens who inhabit it. What I didn’t expect was an ancient literary mystery that would make The DaVinci Code ashamed to exist. Regardless of this little hiccup, that didn’t change my enjoyment of the plot. Nor did the integration of technology (Sloan is a big fan of the idea of technology), which only helped to strengthen the overarching plot of humanity’s quest for immortality, be it literal or figurative.

The Girl Who Would Be King by Kelly Thompson
Recommended for: Anyone looking for some kick-ass females with a Faith and Buffy dynamic to their relationship.

This was yet another Kickstarter project, one which didn’t get published traditionally because it was deemed too violent for the young adult sphere but too juvenile for the adult world. It features two girls, protagonist Bonnie Braverman and antagonist Lola LeFever, super-powered women who are drawn to one another, one with the intent to save and heal, the other to destroy and kill. Unfortunately for the world, their destinies are intertwined and one day soon they will come face to face.

The Fairest of Them All by Carolyn Turgeon
Recommended for: Fractured fairy tale enthusiasts who don’t mind a darker take on their beloved stories.

Hands down The Fairest of Them All is one of the most inventive fractured fairy tales I have read, and I have read a lot of fractured fairy tales. For a while there I almost exclusively read fractured fairy tales. What sets Fairest apart from the rest is that it deftly weaves the tales of Rapunzel and Snow White into one narrative, telling the story from the POV of the supposed Evil Stepmother. Not only that but it’s written in an incredibly rich and enticing way. Get on this fairy tale enthusiasts!

The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey
Recommended for: Non science fiction fans looking for a more humanistic take on the genre.

I am generally not a huge fan of sci-fi novels, but The 5th Wave (as with The Humans) had me changing my tune. In fact it was one of my favorite YA novels of the year, regardless of the fact that it was stuffed full of aliens. Yancey sets the tone straight from the epigraph and paints a vivid picture of the day the Others arrived and humanity was forced to deal with the knowledge that they are not alone. Even more harrowing, they have to fight for their right to continue to live in the universe. Action packed and thrilling, if you can look past the cheesy love story you’re golden.

The Worst of the Worst:

Dualed by Elsie Chapman (The premise- two versions of yourself fight for the right to live in a dystopian society- was amazing, the execution of that premise? Not so much.)
Towering by Alex Flinn (A different take on the tale of Rapunzel was poorly written and difficult to slog through. Check out The Fairest of Them All, a book that gets this fairy tale right instead.)
No Place Like Oz: A Prequel Novella to Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige (A very spoiled teenaged Dorothy returns to Oz, harnesses magic, and terrorizes fans with her out of character antics.)
Broken by A.E. Rought (This retelling of Frankenstein is both predictable in terms of plot and painful in what it does to the original Shelley story.)
Zom-B by Darren Shan (The son of a racist and a sort-of racist himself gets caught in the zombie apocalypse, but you won’t care if he lives or not.)
Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter (Contrived and painful take on the world of Wonderland but with 100% more zombies and cringe inducing romances. Blech.)
Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger (Takes the original story and ruins everything that made it so special. Also, Miranda Priestly is barely in it.)

My 2013 Reading Resolutions included reading 150 books (SUCCEEDED BY THE SKIN OF MY TEETH), whittling down my side table to-read pile (I WAS DOING GOOD FOR A HOT SECOND THERE), finishing any books I borrowed from friends and family (YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYONE, SORRY MOM!) and also to complete some older unread books on my shelves (AGAIN, FAIL!).

So in order to actually accomplish something in 2014 I would once again like to read at least 150 books and attempt yet again to eliminate the multiple piles of books I seem to collect around my home.

For other possible reading resolution ideas, check out a post I wrote on the subject over on the Quirk Books blog. Yeah, I know, I know, shameless self-promotion.

The Impossible Knife by Laurie Halse Anderson

For the past five years, Hayley Kincaid and her father, Andy, have been on the road, never staying long in one place as he struggles to escape the demons that have tortured him since his return from Iraq. Now they are back in the town where he grew up so Hayley can attend school. Perhaps, for the first time, Hayley can have a normal life, put aside her own painful memories, even have a relationship with Finn, the hot guy who obviously likes her but is hiding secrets of his own.

Will being back home help Andy’s PTSD, or will his terrible memories drag him to the edge of hell, and drugs push him over? The Impossible Knife of Memory is Laurie Halse Anderson at her finest: compelling, surprising, and impossible to put down.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Like all Laurie Halse Anderson novels we’re sure this one is depressing but still manages to tell a gripping tale of human nature and what it means to love. Because.

Independent Study: Book Two of the Testing Series by Joelle Charbonneau

In the series debut The Testing, sixteen-year-old Cia Vale was chosen by the United Commonwealth government as one of the best and brightest graduates of all the colonies . . . a promising leader in the effort to revitalize postwar civilization. In Independent Study, Cia is a freshman at the University in Tosu City with her hometown sweetheart, Tomas—and though the government has tried to erase her memory of the brutal horrors of The Testing, Cia remembers. Her attempts to expose the ugly truth behind the government’s murderous programs put her—and her loved ones—in a world of danger. But the future of the Commonwealth depends on her.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: The second book in a dystopic trilogy about a horrible right of passage called the Testing. Where we’re from it’s called the SATS.

Dark Duets: All-New Tales of Horror and Dark Fantasy [edited] by Christopher Golden

DARK DUETS: New Tales of Horror and Dark Fantasy will be published in January, 2014 by Harper Voyager. Edited by Christopher Golden, it features an extraordinary lineup of collaborative stories, with the authors of each story collaborating for the very first time. And here they are!

-TRIP TRAP by Sherrilyn Kenyon & Kevin J. Anderson
-WELDED by Tom Piccirilli & T.M. Wright
-DARK WITNESS by Charlaine Harris & Rachel Caine
-REPLACING MAX by Stuart MacBride & Allan Guthrie
-T. RHYMER by Gregory Frost & Jonathan Maberry
-SHE, DOOMED GIRL by Sarah MacLean & Carrie Ryan
-HAND JOB by Chelsea Cain & Lidia Yuknavitch
-HOLLOW CHOICES by Robert Jackson Bennett & David Liss
-AMUSE-BOUCHE by Amber Benson & Jeffrey J. Mariotte
-BRANCHES, CURVING by Tim Lebbon & Michael Marshall Smith
-RENASCENCE by Rhodi Hawk and F. Paul Wilson
-BLIND LOVE by Kasey Lansdale & Joe R. Lansdale
-TRAPPER BOY by Holly Newstein & Rick Hautala
-STEWARD OF THE BLOOD by Nate Kenyon & James A. Moore
-CALCULATING ROUTE by Michael Koryta & Jeffrey David Greene
-SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS by Sarah Rees Brennan, Cassandra Clare, and Holly Black
-SINS LIKE SCARLET by Mark Morris & Rio Youers

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Dark fantasy and horror, sign us up! Add in a story called “Sisters Before Misters” by Sarah Rees Brennan, Cassandra Clare and Holly Black and we are so there.

Wolverton Station by Joe Hill

Saunders made his fortune as a hatchet man for hire and “The Woodcutter” has brought his sharpest axe to England to do what he does best: maximize corporate profits by chopping down the little guy. But his train north is about to make an unexpected stop in the deep dark woods, to let on some hairy-handed gents straight out of the darkest kind of fairy tale. Now “The Woodcutter” is up to his ankles in blood and finding out just what it really means to live in a dog-eat-dog world…

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: We’ll read anything by horror writer extraordinaire Joe Hill, so we were super excited to see this short story pop up on GoodReads!

Why I Read: The Serious Pleasure of Books by Wendy Lesser

“Wendy Lesser’s extraordinary alertness, intelligence, and curiosity have made her one of America’s most significant cultural critics,” writes Stephen Greenblatt. In Why I Read, Lesser draws on a lifetime of pleasure reading and decades of editing one of the most distinguished literary magazines in the country, The Threepenny Review, to describe her love of literature. As Lesser writes in her prologue, “Reading can result in boredom or transcendence, rage or enthusiasm, depression or hilarity, empathy or contempt, depending on who you are and what the book is and how your life is shaping up at the moment you encounter it.”

Here the reader will discover a definition of literature that is as broad as it is broad-minded. In addition to novels and stories, Lesser explores plays, poems, and essays along with mysteries, science fiction, and memoirs. As she examines these works from such perspectives as “Character and Plot,” “Novelty,” “Grandeur and Intimacy,” and “Authority,” Why I Read sparks an overwhelming desire to put aside quotidian tasks in favor of reading. Lesser’s passion for this pursuit resonates on every page, whether she is discussing the book as a physical object or a particular work’s influence. “Reading literature is a way of reaching back to something bigger and older and different,” she writes. “It can give you the feeling that you belong to the past as well as the present, and it can help you realize that your present will someday be someone else’s past. This may be disheartening, but it can also be strangely consoling at times.”

A book in the spirit of E. M. Forster’s Aspects of the Novel and Elizabeth Hardwick’s A View of My Own, Why I Read is iconoclastic, conversational, and full of insight. It will delight those who are already avid readers as well as neophytes in search of sheer literary fun.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: A book about reading? Psh, there was no way we couldn’t include this.

So much “Game of Thrones” news today!

Not only will the show’s fourth season premiere on April 6th, the very first Sunday in April, but the first trailer will air this Sunday on HBO at 8:58 p.m. right before True Detective.

And to tease us between now and then (more so than that brief teaser from December) they’ve released some Vines from said trailer.

The short video clips include Jon Snow versus some Wildlings, another possible battle at the Wall, the Red Viper Battling the Mountain!!!, Daenerys being pensive (WHY IS SHE PENSIVE, IS IT BECAUSE SHE DID THE THING!?!) and Tyrion in shackles previously seen in that first look.

You can watch those over on Hypable because WordPress seems to hate embedding Vines!

That only leaves the question of why the release date has been pushed so far back remaining.

Apparently it’s all “The Walking Dead” finale’s fault. You may remember that last year Season 3 premiered on the same night as “The Too Much Talking Dead” Season 3 finale which drew away some viewers.

In order to avoid that, “Thrones” will be airing after “The Walking Dead” has finally wrapped for the season.

Makes sense.

Are you excited yet? We’re super excited.

(via Hypable)

The “Game of Thrones” Season Four trailer is here!!! The internet can kindly break now.

Let’s discuss.

THINGS WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT:
-Margaery Tyrell’s hair
-Jaime Lannister’s hair
-Oberyn Martell’s complete and utter awesome-ness
-Jorah Mormont telling Daenerys Targaryen not to do the thing
-Daenerys Targaryen being like, “Screw you Jorah, I’m gonna do the thing”

“Game of Thrones” fourth season will premiere on Sunday, April 6, 2014.

(via HBO)

We fell in love with Kelly Thompson’s girl-powered superhero versus supervillain novel The Girl Who Would Be King about two girls — think a Buffy and a Faith type — fighting for supremacy against one another (so much so that it landed on Cassie-la’s top books read in 2013 list).

And now Thompson has another book entitled Storykiller that needs help getting funded.

SHUT UP AND TAKE OUR MONEY! Again. Totally worth it.

Yet again Thompson has written a novel with an intriguing concept but once more the publishing companies are torn for how to market it, hence her return to Kickstarter.

As with The Girl Who Would Be King, comic book author Stephanie Hans has illustrated the cover and if enough money is raised there will be a deluxe hardcover edition featuring 32 pages of illustrations from other notable illustrators in the comic book industry.

Check out the book summary below to see if this up your alley and then go and read the first seven chapters over on Thompson’s blog.

A recipient of her first novel, I can say it is well worth the money to shell out for all the stops.

If you’re interested you can donate HERE. Give money, get an awesome book? What a novel concept. Pun intended.

The monster under the bed is real.

In fact, all the monsters are real, as well as the heroes and everything in between because all Fiction is real and exists in a dimension called Story. However, plenty of them hang out in the Mortal world, living both innocent and nefarious lives. This might not mean much to the average Mortal unaware of the Fictional characters living among them, but for The Last Scion–the only Mortal that can kill those Fictional characters–things are about to become very complicated.

Tessa Battle is that Mortal.

Upon her return to Lore, Oregon after years bouncing around boarding schools in Europe, Tessa had her sights set on simple things like shoe shopping, finding a hot boyfriend, and eating as many pancakes as humanely possible. However, the Last Scion mantle Tessa just got saddled with is not making any of that easy, and as Tessa and her new friends are about to learn, Story is long from done with her, no matter how much she’d like to deny her destiny.

With more than one monster chasing her and questionable characters like The Snow Queen and Robin Hood as her allies, Tessa is going to need all the superpowers she inherited just to stay alive.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s a GOOD thing that behind her back, Stories call her THE STORYKILLER.

Intrigued? Don’t forget to donate! Did we mention that you should donate? Because you should.

Seriously, check out how bad-ass this thing is gonna be:

In case you missed all our other posts about the topic, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is being expanded to include the shops and experiences of Diagon Alley!

Meaning more roller coasters, dragons, a working Hogwart’s Express, more places to shop and more places to eat!

Keep reading to check out concept art and find out what you can expect when the expansion opens this summer. (In case you didn’t notice, we’re very excited!)

First up the park is getting a new ride which Universal is saying is even better than the fabulous Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey, specifically the family fun ride: Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts.

You know, because Gringotts is basically a roller coaster already.

The first things visitors will see in Diagon Alley is the Knight Bus, before passing through a brick wall and into the expansion.

New stores include: Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes (joke shop), Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions (clothing and costumes), Magical Menagerie (stuffed animals), Wiseacre’s Wizarding Equipment (wizarding essentials), Quality Quidditch Supplies (do we really have to explain this?), Scribbulus (writing instruments) and Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour (again, really?).

Even more exciting, they are actually building a Knockturn Alley complete with Borgin and Burkes, for all your Dark Arts needs!

There’s also a working Hogwart’s Express which is said to take you from park to park, although it doesn’t say which parks.

As for the existing Hogsmeade section, Honeydukes will be expanding and the park will be removing Zonkos because who needs that when the Weasley’s have their own joke shop?

(via: Hypable)

In this post, from Image Comics: Sex Criminals #4 and The Walking Dead #119, Marvel Comics: Young Avengers #15 and from Vertigo: Fairest #22. Farewell Young Avengers, your highly entertaining run will be missed. ::all the tears::

Image Comics

Sex Criminals #4 by Matt Fraction, illustrated Chip Zdarsky, cover by Chip Zdarsky
Genre: Fiction, humor, satire, science fiction
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

On the surface, Sex Criminals seems like a joke comic, but it’s actually quite good. Something you wouldn’t expect from a series chock-full of dildos. So many dildos. Seriously, all the dildos. The premise is simple, Suzie and Jon both have the ability to freeze time when they have sex and they use this superpower to not only get down and dirty, but to save Suzie’s failing library from being shut down. By robbing banks. See kids, you can use your sexual appetites for good, not just evil! Although maybe it’s still kind of evil. Whatever. Unfortunately for our new-age Bonnie and Clyde, there seems to be a secret faction of sex police who aim to cease time-stopping sexual related crimes.

As with the other issues in the series, this one is reliant on time jumps narrated by Suzie, and she and boyfriend Jon reminisce on the various ways in which they have used their powers in the past. For example: messing with your boss, petting tigers at the zoo, scoring an awesome new jacket at the mall, punishing privileged assholes who learn nothing and remain privileged assholes, etc. Sure, it can be crass at times, but it’s also hysterically funny. What other comic would devote the majority of their entire third issue to the fact that their character is singing a song they couldn’t get the rights to? Of course, this is the same author who gave us an entire issue of Hawkeye told by a dog, so I’m not that surprised.

The Walking Dead #119 by Robert Kirkman, illustrated by Charlie Adlard, cover by Charlie Adlard
Genre: Fiction, post-apocalyptic, zombies, horror
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Robert Kirkman is almost halfway through his “All Out War” arc and things are getting serious. Not only has Rick used zombies as a weapon against other humans (remember: ultimately people are the monsters because aren’t we always?) in order to keep the Saviors distracted, but in this issue Negan decides to return the favor. It’s horrible. So, so horrible that we need to talk about it, but I can’t without spoiling everything. It’s even more terrible because as Charlie Adlard is keen to show us, these zombies are disgustingly smelly and there’s no way the new world isn’t covered in flies. Ugh. I’m not even prepared for issue #120, I don’t know how I can be.

Unfortunately, the first 2/3 of this issue is lacking because it deals with the typical Robert Kirkman problem of telling and not showing, which has earned it the name Too Much Talking Dead. (Side note: This should be the name of your show Chris Hardwick!) Because, you know, in the real world everyone talks about all their super deep personal problems and how in pain they are. I get it, it’s the apocalypse, you’re sad, but are you gonna cry about it to anyone who will listen? Thankfully, the next issue should be all action and barely any talking. Although I wouldn’t mind a running dialogue from Negan. AKA: the best. Also, the worst.

Marvel Comics

Young Avengers #15 by Kieron Gillen, illustrated by various, cover by Jamie McKelvie
Genre: Fiction, superheroes, action, humor
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

The Young Avengers have defeated the villainous Mother and are spending the transition from 2013 into 2014 by partying the night away and making out with one another. Like you do. And it’s so fun and wonderful and ends with such a marvelous last panel that it makes it even harder to say goodbye. Young Avengers, why do you have to go when parting is such sweet sorrow? To send the series off, Kieron Gillen gives us such notable quotables as, “Is this safe? Are you drinking and kicking holes in dimensions?,” hashtags that spell out lyrics from The Sound of Music, a joke that this series has just been a teen movie (spoilers: it’s all the teen movies) and a yamblr user with the screen name: GottaPayTheTrollToll. I died of happiness.

However, the breakout star in this issue would have to be teen Loki, who pays his debt to the other Avengers for betraying them (in leather pants no less) before offering to make out with a dude and walking into the sunset. Although not before spouting the line, “I can’t avoid being Loki … I’m a story. I just have to be the best story I can be.” Loki, you broke my heart dude. Even more heart-wrenching? The series ends with an Instagram photo of adorable. Don’t cry too much though, Loki will return in Loki: Agent of Asgard (coming in February) so thank goodness for small favors. I cannot wait!

Vertigo

Fairest #22 by Marc Andreyko, illustrated by Shawn McManus, cover by Adam Hughes
Genre: Fiction, fractured fairy-tale, fantasy, drama
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

SPOILERS IF YOU HAVE YET TO READ THE CINDERELLA-CENTRIC SPIN-OFF SERIES CINDERELLA: FROM FABLETOWN WITH LOVE!

Dear Fairest, thank you for finally finding your groove. Or rather, thank you Cindy for giving this spin-off the female-infused kick it needed to make it a worthwhile read. It’s just sad it had to happen so late into the series. In this issue, Cinderella returns to Ultima Thule to find and visit her Fairy Godmother (whom she affectionately calls FG), a location you may recall from her spin-off series. Food for thought, in the medieval sense the words “Ultima Thule” on a map were meant to denote the area beyond the borders of the known world. The more you know!

In line with a return to Cinderella’s past are some shadowy figures (who will be revealed in the very last panel and may have you gasping in surprise) as well as flashbacks to those mice that FG had turned into men on the night of that fated ball. You know, the one where a glass slipper was misplaced. Hence the arc’s title “Of Men and Mice.” Thankfully for the readers, when mice become men there are so many shenanigans, as well as mouse introspection such as, “Are you a man or a mouse?” Which is almost as funny as a fairy tale creature wandering to Amsterdam and revealing all their secrets after being tempted with weed by some very high locals. Fairest, why couldn’t you have been this good the whole time?

Flimsy Little Plastic Miracles by Ron Currie Jr.

A bold and arresting story about the impossibility of love and the inevitability of grief by the acclaimed author of Everything Matters!

Ron Currie, Jr.’s first two works of fiction, God Is Dead and Everything Matters!, dazzled readers and critics alike with their audacity, originality, and psychological insight. Hailed by the New York Times’s Janet Maslin as a startlingly talented writer,” Currie once again moves and provokes us with his latest genre-bending novel, one that asks why literal veracity means more to us than deeper truths.

The protagonist of Flimsy Little Plastic Miracles is named Ron Currie, Jr., and as you’d expect, he’s a lot like the guy who wrote the book. Both of them are writers; both of their fathers are dead; both are deeply in love with women whose beauty and allure are matched only by their elusiveness. When Currie the character travels to a small Caribbean island to begin a new book about the woman he loves, he inadvertently fakes his own death, which turns out to be the best career move he’s ever made until he learns that the one thing that the world will not forgive is having been told a deeply satisfying lie.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: So Cassie-la read this when it came out in hardcover and greatly enjoyed it. Especially because of the blending of fact and fiction from both author and protagonist Ron Currie Jr. If you also enjoyed it, check out his prior novel Everything Matters!

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge

Graceling meets Beauty and the Beast in this sweeping fantasy about one girl’s journey to fulfill her destiny and the monster who gets in her way-by stealing her heart.

Based on the classic fairy tale Beauty and the Beast, Cruel Beauty is a dazzling love story about our deepest desires and their power to change our destiny.

Since birth, Nyx has been betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom-all because of a foolish bargain struck by her father. And since birth, she has been in training to kill him.

With no choice but to fulfill her duty, Nyx resents her family for never trying to save her and hates herself for wanting to escape her fate. Still, on her seventeenth birthday, Nyx abandons everything she’s ever known to marry the all-powerful, immortal Ignifex. Her plan? Seduce him, destroy his enchanted castle, and break the nine-hundred-year-old curse he put on her people.

But Ignifex is not at all what Nyx expected. The strangely charming lord beguiles her, and his castle-a shifting maze of magical rooms-enthralls her.

As Nyx searches for a way to free her homeland by uncovering Ignifex’s secrets, she finds herself unwillingly drawn to him. Even if she could bring herself to love her sworn enemy, how can she refuse her duty to kill him? With time running out, Nyx must decide what is more important: the future of her kingdom, or the man she was never supposed to love.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Okay, while the name choices leave something to be desired, we were intrigued by the twist on the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast and the machinations of the young lady to free her country. Not to mention the touches of Persephone and Hades in the summary.

Uninvited by Sophie Jordan

The Scarlet Letter meets Minority Report in bestselling author Sophie Jordan’s chilling new novel about a teenage girl who is ostracized when her genetic test proves she’s destined to become a murderer.

When Davy Hamilton’s tests come back positive for Homicidal Tendency Syndrome (HTS)-aka the kill gene-she loses everything. Her boyfriend ditches her, her parents are scared of her, and she can forget about her bright future at Juilliard. Davy doesn’t feel any different, but genes don’t lie. One day she will kill someone.

Only Sean, a fellow HTS carrier, can relate to her new life. Davy wants to trust him; maybe he’s not as dangerous as he seems. Or maybe Davy is just as deadly.

The first in a two-book series, Uninvited tackles intriguing questions about free will, identity, and human nature. Steeped in New York Times bestselling author Sophie Jordan’s trademark mix of gripping action and breathless romance, this suspenseful tale is perfect for fans of James Patterson, Michelle Hodkin, and Lisa McMann.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Fun and intriguing premise that takes The Scarlet Letter and gives it a wacky science fiction twist — specifically with a girl whose genetics deem her a murderer. If done right, this is one could be amazing. Or the worst.

The Unbound: An Archived Novel by Victoria Schwab

Imagine a place where the dead rest on shelves like books. Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures that only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive.

Last summer, Mackenzie Bishop, a Keeper tasked with stopping violent Histories from escaping the Archive, almost lost her life to one. Now, as she starts her junior year at Hyde School, she’s struggling to get her life back. But moving on isn’t easy — not when her dreams are haunted by what happened. She knows the past is past, knows it cannot hurt her, but it feels so real, and when her nightmares begin to creep into her waking hours, she starts to wonder if she’s really safe.

Meanwhile, people are vanishing without a trace, and the only thing they seem to have in common is Mackenzie. She’s sure the Archive knows more than they are letting on, but before she can prove it, she becomes the prime suspect. And unless Mac can track down the real culprit, she’ll lose everything, not only her role as Keeper, but her memories, and even her life. Can Mackenzie untangle the mystery before she herself unravels?

With stunning prose and a captivating mixture of action, romance, and horror, The Unbound delves into a richly imagined world where no choice is easy and love and loss feel like two sides of the same coin.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: It’s the continuation of the fabulous series that began with The Archived! We cannot wait to continue this truly enriching and inventive story about a girl who is tasked with keeping the shells of the dead, Histories, asleep inside the mysterious Library.

Her Dark Curiosity by Megan Shepherd

To defeat the darkness, she must first embrace it.

Months have passed since Juliet Moreau returned to civilization after escaping her father’s island—and the secrets she left behind. Now, back in London once more, she is rebuilding the life she once knew and trying to forget Dr. Moreau’s horrific legacy—though someone, or something, hasn’t forgotten her.

As people close to Juliet fall victim one by one to a murderer who leaves a macabre calling card of three clawlike slashes, Juliet fears one of her father’s creations may have also escaped the island. She is determined to find the killer before Scotland Yard does, though it means awakening sides of herself she had thought long banished, and facing loves from her past she never expected to see again.

As Juliet strives to stop a killer while searching for a serum to cure her own worsening illness, she finds herself once more in the midst of a world of scandal and danger. Her heart torn in two, past bubbling to the surface, life threatened by an obsessive killer—Juliet will be lucky to escape alive.

With inspiration from Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, this is a tantalizing mystery about the hidden natures of those we love and how far we’ll go to save them from themselves.

WHY WE’RE EXCITED: Whereas the first book was a retelling of The Island of Dr. Moreau, this one is based on the short story The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Bring on the young adult re-imagined horror!

In this post, from Image Comics: Saga #18 and from Vertigo: Fables #137. Yup, just two. It’s a very itty bitty week for comics.

Image Comics

Saga #18 by Brian K. Vaughan, illustrated by Fiona Staples, cover by Fiona Staples
Genre: Fiction, action, romance, science-fiction
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Holy Lying Cat, Batman, this is one action packed issue of Saga! The story picks up right where issue 17 left off, on Quietus in the home of A Night Time Smoke author D. Oswald Heist. Unfortunately, things have gotten messy as not only has Prince Robot IV arrived to capture the star-crossed lovers for betraying the war effort and their people, but Marko’s ex-fiance Gwendolyn and the freelance killer The Will have also made their way to Quietus. You know, where Marko is in hiding along with his sassy mother, baby Hazel and her disembodied ghost baby-sitter Izabel. It’s basically a mess. A glorious mess.

In the hands of a lesser author this would be incredible confusing, but Brian K. Vaughan manages to keep hold of all the threads of his story. We get some of Lying Cat’s tragic back story, Gwendolyn and Marko have a heart to heart and she lays all her feelings bare, The Will is just a mess, Prince Robot IV slightly less so but still not doing so hot and Marko proves just how much he believes in his wife Alana. Also featuring another appearance by fellow freelancer The Brand and a TIME JUMP OF ADORABLE! Yes, that needed to be in all caps. Issue 19 now please!

Vertigo

Fables #137 by Bill Willingham, illustrated by Mark Buckingham, cover by George Pratt
Genre: Fiction, fractured fairy-tale, fantasy, drama
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

This is the final issue in the “Camelot” arc, which is narrated by one of Bigby and Snow’s children (it’s a surprise, you have to find out which one yourself) who has the amazingly impressive ability to experience all events occurring at one point in time simultaneously. For instance, she can be making deals with Santa, talking to her mother, securing her role as the North Wind, checking on Therese’s charges in Toyland and watching over her Aunt Rose all at the same time. It is through her that this wonderful issue is narrated and it was a really smart move to show the various threads of the story through her eyes. Good job Bill Willingham!

Unfortunately, Snow and Rose have had a falling out (as seen in prior issues) and Snow is spending her time trying to be strong for her kids in spite of the pain she must be feeling. As her daughter notes, “No one in all the many world is stronger than Mommy. I know, because I checked.” Meanwhile, Rose is re-forming the Knights of the Round Table and re-enacting the King Arthur myth with herself in the role of Arthur. Not only is Rose another strong female figure — in a completely different way from her sister — but she’s also stronger than the legendary King Arthur who was after all just a human man. Rose on the other hand is, “..So much more. More than human. More than even Fable.” Honestly, I still don’t know where this storyline is going and I love it.

The Black Milk Batman Line May Be the Best Black Milk Line (via Dance With Zombies)

Black Milk Clothing has a brand new line coming out and this one is all about Batman! We love the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings lines, but none of those have this gorgeous Joker bomber jacket inspired by The Killing Joke. Shut up and take our money! You can check out the entire collection from the upcoming Batman line over on Black Milk’s Pinterest page. There’s a little something for everyone.

This is What Books With Upworthy Titles Would Sound Like… Read: Ridiculous (via The Millions)

No one likes Upworthy link bait titles that force you to actually read a web-story to get to the meat of it, but just imagine if books had Upworthy titles. It’s okay, don’t cry. Website the Millions envisioned just that and took famous books and gave them hilarious and cringe-inducing Upworthy book titles. Peruse them all over at the Millions and let’s hope this isn’t the future of publishing.

The Cast of “Workaholics” Auditions for “Game of Thrones” and Nail It Because That’s It, That’s the Show (via Rickey)

The cast of the Comedy Central show “Workaholics” took part in Conan O’Brien’s hysterical web-series “Lost Auditions,” which featured the guys trying out for roles in “Game of Thrones” Season Four. We guess you can imagine where this is going. That’s right, boob jokes are coming. As well as jokes about unnecessary sexual situations, incest and characters with names like Lord Deathly Murderkill of House Murdercross. Nailed it!

You Can Help Kickstart This Project and Own Some Geeky Sprinkles Too! (via On Wednesdays We Wear Pink)

If you’re looking for some lightning bolt, steampunk or TARDIS sprinkles then the Geeky Sprinkles’ Kickstarter is just for you! The project currently has 17 days and over $14,000 more dollars to go, so make sure you donate to get your hands on the nerdiest sprinkles around and specialty recipe cards from nerdy bakers all around the web. Spend a little more money and you can even land some Hogwarts’ house-specific sanding sugar. Donate HERE.

Every Street in This Dutch Neighborhood is Named After Things in Lord of the Rings and We Want to Go to There (via The Huffington Post)

Ever wanted to live someone in the Netherlands but you have no idea where? Well we’re here to suggest the town of Geldrop, which has a neighborhood where every single street is named after a person or place in The Lord of the Rings series, and yes, that includes The Hobbit too. The only question is where are you gonna live when you want to live everywhere!?! Do you settle in Fangorn or Erebor? How many times a day do you cry at the intersection of Amroth and Nimrodel? Do shenanigans only occur on Kili and Fili? Decisions, decisions.

These “Game of Thrones” Meet Disney Manips Are the Best and the Worst Ever (via The Mary Sue)

Tumblr is a magical place full of GIFs and photo manipulations, and one user named paloma-nevada has decided to take the latter and create an entire series of mash-ups that pair “Game of Thrones” characters with their Disney counterparts. Or something like that. If the picture above is any indication it is at times both funny and terrifying. Emphasis on the terrifying. They can all be perused HERE and we apologize for any resulting nightmares.

This Goosebumps Art Will Make You Feel Nostalgic (via The Huffington Post)

40 artists have joined forced to submit images to the art zine Monster Edition, whose newest issue is centered around the books and stories of R.L. Stine, better known as Goosebumps. Are you feeling all the nostalgia yet? The 46-page mag can be bought for $20 on the Monster Edition website and you can check out some of the sample artwork there, along with some other examples on the Huffington Post website. Childhood, sometimes we really miss you.

Bill Murray Dressed Up Like Peter Pan and Flew Around and Sang a Bunch (via Topless Robot)

That is all. You’re welcome.

Uh-oh, looking back, author J.K. Rowling has admitted that Harry and Hermione, not Ron and Hermione should have ended up together.

All of which she admitted in a new interview with Hermione herself, Emma Watson.

Awkward.

“I wrote the Hermione/Ron relationship as a form of wish fulfillment,” explained JKR in a new interview for Wonderland magazine. “That’s how it was conceived, really. For reasons that have very little to do with literature and far more to do with me clinging to the plot as I first imagined it, Hermione ended up with Ron.”

She continued, “I know, I’m sorry. I can hear the rage and fury it might cause some fans, but if I’m absolutely honest, distance has given me perspective on that. It was a choice I made for very personal reasons, not for reasons of credibility. Am I breaking people’s hearts by saying this? I hope not.”

Watson didn’t find these comments too shocking and commented that fans often wonder, “whether Ron would have really been able to make [Hermione] happy.”

Rowling also joked that the two would definitely need some serious “relationship counseling” throughout their marriage.

Poor Ron Weasley, always the butt monkey, never whatever the opposite of a butt monkey is.

(via: Hypable)

Once upon a time (yesterday to be precise) author J.K. Rowling set the Harry Potter fandom ablaze when she said she regrets having Hermione marry Ron and that it should have been Harry and Hermione all along.

Enter the complete and utter breakdown of the internet.

Thankfully, we’re here to compile the best reactions for you from around the web. Twitter to be precise. You’re welcome. And to those of you going down with your ship — whatever side you may be on — we salute you.

Guys, this is the closest we'll get to JK Rowling admitting that epilogue was total rubbish. Cherish it.—
Will Kostakis (@willkostakis) February 02, 2014

And just like that, Harry Potter becomes a Choose Your Own Adventure.—
Emily Hainsworth (@Emily_YA) February 02, 2014

Books belong to their readers.—
John Green (@realjohngreen) February 02, 2014

"J.K. Rowling regrets putting Ron and Hermione together and wishes she put Harry and Hermione together instead" http://t.co/NSQ4XsCxKV—
PerksOfBeingAFanboy. (@LiamKelsall) February 02, 2014

Okay, also, also, it was amazing and beautiful that Harry and Hermione loved each other and needed each other without wanting to kiss.—
Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) February 01, 2014

THIS JUST IN: GEORGE LUCAS WISHES HE WOULD'VE HOOKED UP LUKE AND LEIA.—
Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) February 02, 2014

Have got off tiny plane apparently into alternate universe where Harry & Hermione end up together. http://t.co/7JkmDYZbLT—
Sarah Rees Brennan (@sarahreesbrenna) February 02, 2014

Look, the only regret J.K. should have is that Luna and Neville are not operating Lovegood&Longgbottom: Magical Detectives RIGHT NOW.—
  (@LadyHawkins) February 02, 2014

more like "JK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Rowling" am I right?—
Brita Sandstrom (@britasandstrom) February 01, 2014

i've been on an airplane for the last few hours so let me get this straight: now we ship jk rowling + voldemort…?—
emery lord (@emlord1) February 02, 2014

And her name is J.K. Rowling. http://t.co/9pSVi9baJo—
Lauren Spieller (@laurenspieller) February 02, 2014

Is this open for suggestions now? Can I apply to be shipped with Hermione?—
Alex (@AlexCarpenter) February 02, 2014

As a special bonus, please enjoy wizard wrocker Alex Carpenter’s acoustic song “The Shipping Wars” which you can listen to HERE.

I did a thing. ingeniousnonsense.tumblr.com/post/753436420… #IWillGoDownWIthThisShip—
Alex (@AlexCarpenter) February 02, 2014

After being mired in production hell for what seemed like an eternity, Neil Gaiman’s fantasy road trip novel American Gods is finally being produced for a small screen near you. That’s your television if you’re confused.

Even better? Gaiman himself will be serving as executive producer on the project.

Great Odin’s raven is this really happening!?!

If you need a refresher, American Gods follows around ex-con Shadow who becomes a bodyguard and constant companion to the mysterious Mr. Wednesday, an Old God — I won’t ruin it and tell you which one — who is gathering his forces to fight the New Gods of the technologically advanced American landscape.

The project itself was acquired by FremantleMedia, who produced the former hit reality show “American Idol.”

Let the fantasy casting (no pun intended) begin!

(via: Deadline)